


You Should've Gone For the Head

by stvrk



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Alive, Gen, I'm Sorry, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, So Are the Avengers, Spoilers, Stockholm Syndrome, Thanos Stole Tony, The Guardians Are All Alive Because I Needed It for Plot Points, Tony Stark Deserves Better, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Takes His Daddy Issues To a Whole New Level, Torture, Villain Tony Stark, everyone is concerned, villain origin story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stvrk/pseuds/stvrk
Summary: *** Infinity War Spoilers ***Tony Stark - The Man Who Made Thanos Bleed. The Mad Titan takes a closer look at the mortal before him, this "Merchant of Death". Thanos grins. If Earth cannot properly appreciate the marvel in its midst then he will show them exactly what they have ignored.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *** Trigger Warnings***  
> This fic deals with a lot of psychological manipulations and body mutilations. If this makes you uncomfortable I strongly recommend you pass over this fic. I won't be able to put a warning before each chapter that deals with it because the majority of the story is going to be pretty dark. 
> 
> So, for the sake of this fic everyone is still alive. This is basically Tony's villain origin story so buckle your seat belts, kiddos, because this is not gonna be a happy ride for a good chunk of this plotline. 
> 
> Also this is my first fic on here and so I don't know what I'm doing but I love Tony I'm just about to make him really sad for a little bit

From a purely engineering perspective, the ship was a beauty. A small part in Tony’s mind was desperate to pick everything apart and figure out exactly what it ran on. The more logical side of his brain was working overdrive to keep a panic attack at bay, and boy did this one feel like a doozy.

         Sweat dripped from his temples as he looked over to the blue woman (Nebula, his brain supplied. He’d heard it mentioned somewhere in the clusterfuck that had been Titan). She looked stoic and anxious at once.

         Perhaps she was still mourning this Gamora woman. The weird aliens had all been arguing over a mysterious person who may have died or maybe she hadn’t. Tony couldn’t remember all that well.

         All he could focus on was the series of really weird events that had landed him here. On a spaceship. In space. Probably lightyears away from anybody he could call a friend. Not like there were many of those in his life to begin with.

         And there was that panic attack he’d been trying so hard to push off.

         Tony fell to his knees with a gasp, hating his weakness.

         Nebula jerked her head around to look at him. She appeared concerned, but it was hard to tell with the black spots clouding Tony’s vision and the fact that she was also a cyborg. Robots always were difficult to read.

         “Hey,” She started toward him and the guards that surrounded them shot to attention.

         “Stand down, traitor.” Another alien, thankfully not the Squidward guy, shoved a glowy spear at the blue woman.

         She bared her teeth in response. “Can’t you see something is wrong?” She gestured toward Tony’s shaking form. “What would Thanos think if he knew he’d gone through all the trouble of bringing this human back with him only for him to die of neglect at his guards’ hands?”

         The guards shifted uneasily. The one who had spoken first clamped his mouth shut (Tony was going to call him Gorn since he kind of looked like the giant lizard man in that one Star Trek episode. God, he missed when Star Trek was a fantasy series to him and not a theory).

         Nebula wandered closer to Tony. She seemed unsure as to his condition and cautiously lifted one hand to press it to his back.

         “Are you hurt?” She asked, grimacing.

         Tony’s hands were clenching and unclenching, and he struggled to get his breathing under control. His mind was racing a million miles per second as he absorbed both his thoughts and the uncomfortable reality surrounding him. “Just dandy.” He managed, eyes squeezing shut.

         “I do not understand. What is wrong?” The blue woman grasped his arms and squeezed.

         “What do you care?” Tony shook his head. It was too much. His chest hurt where the arc reactor once sat.

         “I care because you might be my one ticket back out of this hellhole and you are not going to die on my watch.” Her voice was firm and offered no room for argument.

         Tony laughed. He was being used. This was familiar. This he could deal with. “What? Your weird friends aren’t coming to save you? They were a bit banged up back there, but the big guy was coming round right before we were swept up.”

         “They will think nothing of me while Gamora is still missing. They’re going to try and find her and bring her back. I mean nothing to them.” Nebula scowled again. “I was only convenient.”

         Tony cracked an eye open. His shivers were weakening, and he narrowed in on what Nebula was saying.

         “I know how that feels.”

         She regarded him coolly. “Yes, I suppose you would.”

         They were interrupted by Gorn again who shouted something at Nebula. Another guard, this one looking suspiciously like Alf, approached them. He (or maybe it was a she; Tony wasn’t familiar with alien genders yet) hauled Tony to his feet and began tugging him out of the makeshift cell.

         He could still hear Nebula shouting in the background but couldn’t focus on her words. The cell widened into a hallway that was all metallic angles and dark grease. Tony squinted. No, it wasn’t grease. The dark stains were blood and Tony felt his heart leap into his throat.

         He had a feeling that this had not been Thanos’s ship very long ago and he regretted to imagine what had happened to its original crew.

         Wanting to close his eyes, but not willing to give up a chance to memorize the layout, Tony forced himself to observe every corner and turn he was forced down. He watched for other members of Thanos’s bloodthirsty army and committed their faces to his memory. One day he was going to destroy each and every one of them. He knew it in his bones.

         Alf dragged Tony through one more doorway and it was clear that they had arrived at what served as the control center. Monitors flashed with symbols he couldn’t even begin to decipher, and panels and gear switches littered the room. A huge window located on the opposite wall to Tony peered out into a great vastness of space. It was dark, empty, and exactly what Tony’s nightmares had been composed of since Loki’s invasion. He felt himself go cold at the sight.

         “Are you frightened?” A deep voice resonated through the room and Tony felt more than he saw the goons flinch.  

         He turned to face the man/alien/god who was responsible for all of this.

         “Thanos,” He acknowledged, proud that his voice was steady. He’d always been good at speaking under pressure. He was also pleased to see that the gash he’d managed to score on his face was still there, red and angry looking.

         “Anthony Stark. Merchant of Death. The man who destroyed half my army before it even arrived.” Thanos made the motion of cocking an eyebrow. Tony thought it looked weird on a face with no eyebrows.

         Letting his press mask fall into place, Tony smirked. “Sorry about that. Except, I’m not really.”

         Thanos laughed and Tony stiffened. “You are an intriguing specimen. So different from your race. Really, I find myself enamored. Perhaps it’s because we see things the same way, you and I. We are alike.”

         “ _We,”_ Tony felt his lips curl up in a snarl, “are _nothing_ alike. _You_ – giant mass murdering alien who wants to exterminate half the galaxy. _Me –_ a human who is going to send your ass back where it came from. Also, I look better in gold.”

         Thanos shook his head looking unruffled. “We are survivors, Anthony. Both of us.”

         Opening his mouth to retaliate, Tony was cut off by Thanos speaking again.

         “We were rejected by our home planet because of who we are. Who we were always meant to be. You see, we are greater than what was perceived of us. And we have both felt betrayal at the hands of people we thought closest to us.”

         _Red and blue flashing. A hand pushing something sharp deeper and deeper into his chest. Obie smiling, Steve grimacing, his own saving grace pumping poison into his veins. Tony couldn’t_ breathe.

         “Stop.” Tony murmured, heart racing.

         “The truth is, they couldn’t handle us. They couldn’t stomach the greatness that we were destined for.”

         “Stop it.” He said louder.

         “Even when we speak the truth, they deny it. They call us monsters, selfish, insane. But we both know what this universe needs. We both know what it’s like to make hard decisions for the good of the masses. They were too weak to stand up. Because they didn’t like it, they disagreed. We are both intelligent creatures, Anthony Stark. I understand you. I understand what you are.”

         “Shut up!”

         “We are both here to protect these people and they are ungrateful to us.”

         “Why are you saying this? How do you know this?” Tony knew he was yelling, but he could barely hear himself over the storm in his ears.

         “You didn’t fail your people, Stark. They failed you.”

         Tony’s breaths came faster. “Ultron was a good plan. He should have worked. I didn’t do enough to control his parameters, that was the problem. I’m to be blamed for Ultron. I am supposed to protect Earth.”

         The smile Thanos gave him was condescending, but a glimmer of sorrow slipped into his features. “Ultron did his job. He knew what I know now. The biggest threat to this galaxy isn’t one side or the other, it’s all of us. We stand here wasting resources, wasting time, and everyone is going to die soon. Don’t you see? To save the most people half must die.”

         “This is insanity.” Tony whispered.

         “How many times have geniuses been called irrational? People label ideas they don’t understand as dangerous. You know this better than anyone.”

         “I don’t have to listen to this.”

         Thanos regarded Tony. Shivers raced up his spine and he had the distinct impression that he was being assessed. For what, though, Tony wasn’t sure.

         “No,” Thanos finally spoke. “But you will understand. In time. We are going to save this universe, Anthony Stark, together.”

         Thanos nodded towards Alf and Tony was grabbed once more.

         “I don’t have to break you, Stark. Your mind is going to do that by itself. I’m going to enlighten you and you will be reborn.”

         He struggled against the furry arms that restrained him. “I will _never_ join your cause, you sick fuck. You hear me? I am going to destroy you and everything you stand for.” Alf was dragging him out of the control room, but Tony made sure Thanos was watching him when he spat out one last remark. “I hope you remember what this feels like now because I am going to kill you.”

         The smile he received was chilly. “We’ll see.”

* * *

 

 

         Peter woke up coughing. His skin felt sticky from dust and sweat and blood and for a moment he couldn’t remember where he was.

         Then it hit him.

         Titan. The big purple guy’s home. He’d hitched a ride on the big donut ship and then Mr. Stark had named him an Avenger.

         Where was Mr. Stark?

         Peter sat up, wincing at the bruises hidden beneath his new suit. He remembered fighting Thanos, teaming up with the weird space Avengers team, and that Doctor guy using his portals to fling Peter around. He also remembered Mr. Stark going head to head with Thanos. He remembered Thanos stabbing Mr. Stark and that was when his vision had gone white with rage.

         He’d watched Uncle Ben die in front of him, unable to do _anything._ He would be _damned_ if he didn’t do anything to help Mr. Stark.

         Mr. Stark who had smiled, clapped him on the shoulder, and offered him an entire future. Mr. Stark who had fondly called him _kid_ and protected him when Peter most needed it. _Tony_ who had become more than just an idol for Peter to worship and more of a friend. He was Peter’s family now.

         Peter had flung himself at Thanos only to be brushed aside like the insect he was dressed as. The hit was hard, though, and Peter remembered fighting with consciousness as Thanos closed in on Mr. Stark. With Peter incapacitated, The Doctor yelled something and Thanos had paused. Reconsidered Mr. Stark.

         Then he opened up one of his big storm portal things and disappeared inside with Tony and the blue woman.

         Peter shot to his feet. He remembered everything. That big Thanos guy had kidnapped Tony Stark. He had to save his mentor.

         Around him the Space Avengers were stirring. A bunch of them groaned in pain and he noticed the Doctor breathing heavily, half buried beneath moon rubble.

         Rushing over, Peter started to pull rocks off the man.

         “What happened?” The Doctor opened his eyes and stared at Peter.

         “I-” Peter paused as the rocks began to float away on their own. Watching them in wonder Peter replied, “I couldn’t stop him from taking Mr. Stark. They’re gone. The other guys are still here but I don’t know if we can trust them.”

         The Doctor pulled himself up off the ground and dusted himself off. “I remember now.”

         “We have to go save him!”

         “We have to figure out how to get off this planet.” The Doctor started to walk away from him, presumably to check on the others.

         “And then save Mr. Stark.” Peter grabbed the Doctor’s shoulder. He caught the man’s eyes and tried to communicate his resolve through telepathy.

         The Doctor regarded him for a moment and then sighed. “If it is at all possible, we will look for Stark.”

         Unconvinced that he had the man’s loyalty, Peter backed off and watched him attend to the others. He guessed he really was a doctor as the man went around, took pulses, and checked everyone’s pupils. Perhaps that ‘Strange’ name or whatever really was his name.

         Doctor Strange. Peter snorted. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied with his worrying he would find this whole situation way funnier than it actually was. Ned was going to be so jealous.

         Soon the rest of their ragtag superhero group was standing and eyeing each other awkwardly.

         “So,” Doctor Strange began. “Since you all seem to be relatively well versed in space travel, I assume you will have some way off this big rock.”

         The leader of the Space Avengers stepped forward. “We might. But we’re going to save Gamora. You guys can hitch a ride with us but that is our priority. If not, you’ll just have to wait until the next straggler passes by this system and pray they notice you.”

         Strange nodded. “That’s fair.”

         “Hey, wait!” Peter protested. “We have to save Mr. Stark. That Thanos guy took him and we have to find him before he gets hurt!”

         Space Dude looked him over. “Look, I’m sorry your friend got wrapped up in this. But if Thanos has him then chances are he’s already dead. We have a real lead on where our teammate might be, and I can’t waste my time chasing after a suicide mission to get your guy back. We’re going after Gamora. You can either come with us, or like I said, wait here.”

         Panic flooded Peter’s body. He couldn’t just give up on Mr. Stark like that. He had to go after him. He refused to believe that Tony would be taken by Thanos only to be killed hours later. Mr. Stark was definitely alive. Peter had to believe that.

         He opened his mouth to argue more when Doctor Strange placed a hand on his shoulder. Minutely, the other man shook his head.

         “You can’t find Mr. Stark if you’re marooned on a desert planet. Follow these guys and then look for him.”

         Logically, Peter knew the Doctor was right. But he’d just survived fighting a giant purple alien who wanted to blow up the universe or something and he was angry.

         “Why is your friend more important than Mr. Stark?” Peter had never felt more like the teenager, but he was desperate.

         Space Dude’s mouth angled downwards. He looked uncomfortable to be arguing with someone Peter’s age, but Peter wasn’t going to let up just because he was seen as some kid.

         “It’s our ship. We do what we want. And we want to find our teammate. This isn’t a negotiation.” Space Dude tapped on his ear and started speaking again. “Kraglin? You hear me? We need to be picked up right now. Shit just hit the fan.”

         Frustration surged in Peter and he felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Angry at himself for being so emotional, Peter wiped his face and took a deep breath.

         Strange patted his shoulder awkwardly. “Look, we’ll find Stark. I know we will. But you can’t do anything from here. We’ll go with them and then figure out a plan.”

         “You’re going to help me?”

         Strange sighed as if he was already regretting the decision. “Yes. But we do this my way. I have more experience battling extraterrestrial maniacs and the supernatural, so I am going to lay down some groundwork here.”

          “I’m a kid who can climb up walls and stop a bus with my bare hands.” Peter deadpanned.

         “Which might be useful in the future but Thanos has already proven he’s strong. We need to be smart about this.”

         “And then blindside him and defeat him!” Peter pumped his fist in the air. “Yeah, I get it now. So, what do we do about those guys?” He nodded towards the Space Avengers who seemed to be discussing Peter and Doctor Strange in their own secret huddle.

         “We play their game.” Strange didn’t even look over at them.

         “We could steal their ship!”

         Strange looked at him as if he had just suggested they run off a cliff. “Do you know how to fly a spaceship now?”

         Blushing, Peter scratched the back of his head. “I guess not. I was kind of hoping you might know how.”

         Where on Earth would I have learned how to- You know what? Never mind. Just follow my lead from now on if you want any hope of saving Stark.”

         Peter sobered up and nodded. He would follow along with these space travelers. He could play nice for a few days. Then, he would find Mr. Stark. He knew he would. Peter felt his resolve settle in his stomach, a comforting weight reminding him that the battle wasn’t lost yet. Thanos was going down, one way or another, and Peter would have a front seat to all of it.

         Over the horizon a large spaceship flew into view. It was bulkier than the donut ship, but it floated smoothly towards them.

         “All aboard, weirdos. We’ve got a damsel to save.” Space Dude grinned as a ramp lowered from the ship, revealing another human-looking guy.

         “Are you referring to Gamora as a damsel?” The blue guy spoke up. “Damsels are the ones you save. If anybody is a damsel in the relationship, it’s you, Quill. You are pathetic without her.”

         Space Dude, Quill, frowned. “Just get on the ship, Drax.” He spared a glance to Peter and Doctor Strange. “You guys coming or not.”

         Peter bit down an angry retort and Strange nodded.

         “We’re coming with you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok look I did say it gets worse before it gets better

         Tony had been cold before. Hell, he’d survived waterboard torture in a cave, he’d flown through a wormhole into space with a nuke on his back and came back out, and he’d come back from Siberia in a broken suit. But there was something about the chill seeping into his muscles from his new cell that gave Tony pause.

         It was a creeping kind of cold. The cold that leaves your lips blue and your heart heavy. It makes you wonder if falling asleep might just be a good decision – even if you don’t wake up again.

         Tony shook his head, trying to clear the thought from his mind. He would be of no help to his planet if he died on this spaceship.

         _What if they don’t need you, though? What’s your purpose then?_ A voice as chilling as his cell whispered in his mind.

         _No,_ Tony had to escape. He had to get back. He couldn’t just leave his people defenseless.

         _But they’re not defenseless. They have their “_ heroes.” _You were never a superhero. Just a man trying to make his conscience feel better._

Tony wanted to scream. He couldn’t think like this, not now. If he gave up, Thanos won.

         Thanos’s voice joined the others rattling in his brain. “ _I don’t have to break you, Stark. Your mind is going to do that by itself.”_

         Tony knew that Thanos was playing mind games with him. He was trying to distract Tony from the real situation here, which was a huge purple maniac trying to control the universe. But he’d lived through worse, right? He could survive a measly little cell and some petty words.

         The guard outside his cell was neither Gorn nor Alf. She seemed to be a female alien with pointy horns and a face that resembled a humanoid deer. In the few hours Tony had been sitting in his cell she hadn’t turned her gaze away from him. It was disconcerting, and Tony wished the cell had a corner he could curl up in that would allow no prying eyes to watch his mental breakdown.

         The deer lady still hadn’t blinked, and Tony sighed.

         “You got a name?”

         She cocked her head, blue hair falling lightly over her shoulder.

         “Do you even understand me?” Tony raised his eyebrow. He hadn’t considered that all of these different species of aliens would have languages vastly different than those on Earth. It was fascinating to think about.

         Deer Lady hesitated for another moment and said, “I understand you.”

         Tony perked up. “You know English?”

         She furrowed her brows. “I do not know what English is. But my translator allows me to understand what you say, and for you to know my responses.”

         “Remarkable.” Tony was so going to start researching a new intelligence system that could act as a universal translator the second he got home. “How does it work? Is it implanted in your ear? It’d have to have some kind of electrical current wired to your neural pathway or something. Do aliens even have the Wernicke’s area? Your brain structure must be similar to human’s if it works the way I think it does or maybe-” Tony knew he was getting excited but speculating about alien technology was vastly superior than getting drawn further into his manic-depressive episode. “-it’s totally different than anything we’ve ever seen on Earth before and would introduce a whole new way of thinking about the brain.”

         Deer Lady squinted at him. “I think it might be malfunctioning. I do not understand what you said.”

         “It happens a lot, don’t worry about it.” Tony waved a hand. “So, does it also help interpret context and semantics?”

         “I-” The alien was cut off by a banging on the side of wall in Tony’s cell.

         “ _Would you please shut up_?” That sounded like Nebula’s voice. “Some of us are actually trying to plan an escape here.”

         “How long have you been there?”

         “I’ve been here since before they brought you back from Thanos.”

         And just like that Tony’s excitement faded.

         “What did he say?” Nebula asked after a brief pause.

         “Just some bullshit about us taking over the universe together. I have to say he was scarier as an idea, but that man has some serious problems. I’m sensing some abandonment issues. Maybe a delusion or two.”

         Nebula was quiet again for a long moment. “Be careful, Stark. You may think you’re ahead of him at first, but he probes his way into your mind faster than you can see him approach. You don’t even know he’s gotten in your head until you’re in too deep and doing terrible things just to keep him happy with you.”

         Tony didn’t respond, didn’t want to admit that perhaps Thanos had already started his invasion into Tony’s sanity.

         _It would be easier, wouldn’t it?_ The voice chimed in again.

         _What would?_ Tony balled his hands into a fist, dreading the answer.

         It didn’t come, and Deer Lady stood up swiftly. “I must report this conversation to my Father.”

         Tony rolled his eyes and could have sworn he heard Nebula do the same.

         “That’s right, Anilik. Run off and tell Daddy what the prisoners are saying. There’s not much left of me to replace to ease his disappointment.” Nebula spat out.

         Deer Lady, or Anilik, paused. She studied Tony for a moment through the shimmering bars. “But there is plenty to improve on _him._ ”

         Tony let out a shaky breath. If Nebula responded he didn’t hear it. _Replace? Replace what?_

“-rk? Stark?” Nebula was calling his name.

         He blinked, and the cell swam back into focus. God, he was slipping a lot. It felt like his anxiety was beating behind his eyelids, desperate to get out and it was taking most of his concentration just to pretend to ignore it.

         “Hey, how do you even know my name?” Tony faked a laugh.

         “He’s watched you.” The reply was ominous at best and Tony almost didn’t want to ask for clarification.

         “Watched me?”

         “After that little stint with the explosion and his ships, Thanos has watched you. He likes to know his enemies before he wipes them out. It’s how he does it so easily. But you intrigued him.”

         “What does that mean?”

         “It means you’re just like Gamora. He spared her from the genocide of her people because he saw something in her. He sees something in you too.”

         Tony wasn’t sure how to process that information and then made the decision to simply not acknowledge any of it.

         “So, then, what did you and Ani- Anilik mean with the ‘replacing’ thing?”

         He heard a sigh come from the cell next to his. “Whenever one of his children fails him, whenever they _disappoint_ him, he replaces something on them. Or did you think I was born with these machine parts attached to me? I was never as good as Gamora and so I was left this hybrid _monster_ and she stayed perfect.” The bitterness rolled off the speech in waves and Tony felt himself empathizing with the blue woman.

         “You know, I was never enough for my dad either.” He started.

         Nebula snorted.

         “Seriously. He used to rant that I’d never be as smart as he was, or as strong as Captain America. Most nights he liked to drink and that’s when he really showed off his true colors. If he couldn’t leave an impression on me mentally, then by God he’d do it physically.” Tony laughed. “You know, one time he actually threw his whiskey bottle at me? That shit took thirty-two stitches and about a hundred grand donation to keep the hospital quiet.”

         “Did he tear your eye from its socket and force a new one in?”

         Tony paused. “ _No._ Jesus, what the hell? I’m trying to bond with you. _He ripped your eyeball out?”_

         “He will do the same to you, Stark.”

         “Never thought I’d miss Howard but damn he is starting to look like the freaking dad from _March of the Penguins_ in comparison.”

         “He will try to improve you too.”

         “I won’t be here long enough for him to even try.”

         Nebula laughed. “Soon we will be bonding over experiences much similar than a simple ‘I don’t like my daddy’ situation.”

         That’s when Anilik returned, another guard in tow. This one was a towering colossus of stone and mud. “Father wishes to speak with you.”

         Tony hesitated before he stood. “What about?”

         Anilik smiled, revealing sharp little teeth.

_Not a deer,_ Tony thought unhelpfully.

“ _Good luck, Stark.”_ Nebula whispered through her bars, watching him. He saw an emotion pass through her features, but it was gone too swiftly for him to identify it.

 

* * *

 

 

As much as Peter resented being on the ship, he still could admit to himself that it was pretty cool to be traveling through space with actual aliens. It was a very, very small part of him, though. Like, maybe twelve percent of him thought that. The rest was focused on his plan to rescue Mr. Stark.

 He didn’t know who this Gamora woman was, but he doubted she could be special enough to be more vital to the galaxy’s survival than Iron Man.

Besides, that Quill guy was annoying and wouldn’t stop singing. It was like he was rubbing the whole situation into Peter’s face.

The Doctor was sitting in a corner, meditating. Thankfully he wasn’t doing that twitching thing again with projected heads coming out of his shoulders. That had really creeped Peter out when he first saw it.

The big blue guy, Drax, ambled over and sat next to Peter. “So,” He started solemnly, “You are a bug boy.”

Peter spared a glance over at him. “What?”

“Your abilities – they resemble some of the insects on my planet. Were you hatched from an egg and raised from a larva as Mantis was?” He gestured to the woman in the green get-up who brightened when she noticed the attention.

“No.”

Drax didn’t reply for a moment. “I am immensely strong. I could crush a spine with my bare hands. I also have the ability to turn invisible. Would you like to see?”

Peter didn’t know how to respond and couldn’t tell if Drax was mocking him or not. “No, I don’t care about your super powers. I’m just here to find Mr. Stark.”

“Yes,” Drax nodded. “The man in the metal suit. You care about him?”

Peter sighed, his posture slumping. “Yeah, I mean, he changed my life. And he’s the closest thing I have to a dad. I’m not going to lose another person I care about.”

From the corner of his eye Peter could see Quill leaning subtly towards them, eavesdropping.

Peter huffed and turned away from both Drax and Quill’s prying ears. “Never mind. It’s not like you guys would understand.”

Drax’s eyes widened. “I do understand. You are like Quill. He too lost a father and then a father figure. Now he is saving the only person he has left.”

“Hey! Stop telling strangers my whole life story!” Quill shouted indignantly.

Peter looked back over at the man, ideas running through his head. “Then you know,” He started, “What it feels like. What it’s like to lose people, to lose family. You could help me. I have to save him.” He knew he was begging but Peter couldn’t think of another option.

Quill’s eyes hardened and Peter him clench his jaw. He knew what Quill was going to say before he opened his mouth.

“I can’t leave her.”

Peter shook his head. Drax tried to ask a few more questions about Peter’s abilities but he was done talking to these people. He felt a little bad about ignoring Drax since he seemed friendly enough, but he didn’t want to make friends. They were the reason Mr. Stark was kidnapped. If they had listened to Mr. Stark they wouldn’t be sitting here. Peter would be on his way back to Earth, Thanos nice and destroyed, the universe saved, with Mr. Stark by his side.

Eventually Drax gave up his one-sided conversation with a confused look directed at Peter and went to sit by Mantis.

“Heads up, we’re closing in on Vormir.” Quill piped up from his seat in the cockpit. “Gamora is somewhere down there. We’ll split up to find her. Drax and Mantis, you guys go together. Kraglin and I will head off too.”

“And what would you have us do?” Doctor Strange opened his eyes and peered at the crew.

Quill jumped. “Christ, I’d forgotten you were even there.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “You and the kid wait here. We don’t know what we’ll find down there.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Quill, the kid and I have talents that might be uniquely fitting for this type of excursion. Both of us could cover far more ground than any of you.”

“You wanna help us find Gamora?” Quill squinted in confusion.

“The sooner we find your comrade the sooner we can go about our business.” Strange reasoned.

Peter watched the exchange, head bobbing back and forth. He understood the Doctor’s line of logic and if finding this Gamora woman got him back on track to finding Mr. Stark then he would be the best tracker this planet had ever seen.

“I can get up high pretty easily.” Peter confirmed.

Quill hesitated a little bit longer before acquiescing. “Fine, but you guys have to take some coms. And if anything goes south for whatever reason, we _will_ leave you behind.”

Doctor Strange rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

 

* * *

 

 

         Thanos hadn’t gotten any prettier since the last time Tony had met with him and the stupid, impulsive section of his brain decided to tell him so.

         Thanos smiled indulgently and waved his arm.

         Anilik let go of Tony’s arm and he rubbed the spot where she’d gripped him. He was pretty sure she had cut off the circulation to his hand.

         “You are entertaining but disobedient, Anthony.” Thanos sat down on his makeshift throne. It seemed to be made from a bad welding job that combined a pilot’s seat and various metal scraps. The control room seemed unfitting for the kind of symbol Thanos was trying to create and Tony scoffed out loud.

         “I’ve been called worse.”

         “By your so-called friends, I presume.”

         Tony didn’t reply, instead narrowing his eyes. His glare didn’t seem to affect the Mad Titan though.

         “You see, Anthony, I have a working system here. As much as I admire your spirit, it does not fit within this system. If we are going to save this universe, I need to know that you are on the same page as I am. I need to know that you will obey my will, adhere to my rules. I’m not looking to oppress you. Not like your former ‘teammates’. I want your mind and your passion. But it would be much more convenient if it followed the same path as I do.”

         He hadn’t eaten in hours, but Tony felt his stomach roll in protest at what Thanos seemed to be suggesting.

         “I can’t have your disobedience, Anthony. Please don’t think of this as punishment. I’m- how would you understand? I’m upgrading you.” Thanos smiled. “I am going to fix you. Make you better than you have ever been before. You thought you enhanced yourself with your suit? I can make you so much _more.”_

Tony felt he might throw up.

         “This is your first test. You’ve overstepped yourself and now I am going to show you how I fix this.”

         “I don’t consent to this.” Tony’s vision blurred as the gravity of the situation hit him. “I don’t want this.”

         “You don’t yet, but you will thank me one day. You will understand this is for your own betterment.”

         A swarm of guards filed into the room. Two carried a crate filled with what looked like human body parts constructed from various metals.

         Thanos peered into the box as it was held up to him. When he found what he was looking for, he grinned and held up a golden forearm. The hand was crafted beautifully, the detailing exquisite around the joints but Tony paled.

         “Don’t do this.” He whispered.

         “I’m helping you.” Thanos insisted gently. “This will help you.”

         More guards stepped forward. Two grabbed Tony’s shoulders and forced him to his knees. Another pushed a black, stone table up to his side. A fourth alien reached out and pulled Tony’s arm out from where he’d been hugging them to his sides.

         Tony thrashed, trying to free himself. Obscenities fell from his lips in every language he knew as he watched the biggest alien step forward.

         He carried a glowing machete that hummed with power. As he approached Tony could feel the heat radiating off of the weapon in waves.

         His hand was forced onto the table and his sleeve rolled up. The guard on his right side stroked his arm gently. It was a strangely comforting gesture from a creature that was aiding in a potential mutilation.

         Sweat beaded on Tony’s brow and he struggled harder against his captors.

         Thanos settled back into his throne and raised his hand, fingers poised.

         “Wait!” He cried, desperate.

         Thanos paused.   

         “I will obey. Please, not my hand.” Tony’s eyes were wild as he stared up at the alien god. “I will follow you. I will learn to understand you.”

         Thanos’s hand lowered as he regarded Tony. “Oh, Anthony.” His hand went up again and he flicked his fingers.

         The guard surged forward with his machete.

         “I don’t believe you.”

         Tony’s screams echoed through the ship.

 

* * *

 

 

         Deep in interior of the spacecraft, Nebula flinched. She understood in that moment that this was the beginning of the end. No one stood up to Thanos for long. Everyone submitted eventually.

         She had, Gamora had, the whole universe would.

         Tony was just the start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I don't know anything about science stuff and writing Tony is very hard to do without mentioning science stuff so anything science related is me bullshitting my way through some neat sounding vocabulary

         Tony knew he was delirious. From the pain or the shock, he couldn’t tell, but his heart beat had slowed to a normal pace. That probably wasn’t good considering where he was. He figured his heart had every right to beat as wildly as it was able without going into cardiac arrest. In fact, he should be wheezing with panic right now. But his mind was calm, his breathing steady.

         He was admiring the hand.

         It was beautiful, really. Not a smudge marred the perfect gold exterior. The joints around his wrist and fingers were embellished lightly with an etched design that reminded Tony of the flowers that grew outside his old Malibu mansion. The palm was plated to allow his hand to clench and spread his fingers without resistance. In the center of it looked to be a repulsor similar to his own Iron Man gauntlet. An itch in the back of his mind urged him to test it. If it worked like he thought it might, it would be like waving his arm – a pointed movement that was controlled by his motor cortex.

Tony knew it was somehow connected to his brain for the hand to move with his control. The flawless plates covered an intricate web of wires that linked to his nerve endings. He knew because he’d watched them attach them all.

         It moved wonderfully. Just like a real hand.

         For a moment Tony wondered if this is how Barnes felt when he first woke up with a silver arm. Tony laughed. It was a high pitched nervous sound.

         He fisted the fingers and then relaxed them just to watch the blue light from his prison bars reflect off of them. _So pretty._

His arm throbbed briefly where it had been severed at the elbow. It was a phantom pain, Tony knew. His body was missing its lost limb. But Tony knew he couldn’t really be feeling physical pain. The new arm was attached wonderfully. How could something so perfect looking cause him any pain?

         He supposed it also could have been that horrible concoction the guards had made him swallow before he’d passed out in the control room. He was honestly surprised the pain hadn’t done it first.

         Tony turned his hand over and over. He couldn’t blink.

         “Stark?” Nebula’s voice floated to him through the air.

         “It’s never moved so smoothly before.” Tony murmured.

         “Stark!” Her voice, more insistent this time, snapped him from his reverie.

         “Oh my God.” He rasped. Tony thrust the arm down and buried it in his jacket. It was horrible. He couldn’t look at it and think of what had occurred only a few hours ago. Or had it been days? Tony couldn’t remember.

         “Listen to me,” Nebula barked at him. “They will come down soon to give us food. You have to convince them to move me over to your cell.”

         “Why would I do that?” He whispered. “Why should I trust you?” Tony blinked back tears, his flesh hand shaking.

         “I’ve been through this before. You’re going to have to reprogram that thing in a few hours once the shock wears off. If you don’t it’ll start glitching and Thanos will replace it again. The second time hurts just as bad as the first, trust me.”

         He heard her words, but they didn’t register in his brain for a few seconds. “What do you mean I have to reprogram it?”

         “That thing they made you drink? It slows down your processing systems so you can deal with the pain and the installation procedure. Once it wears off, your body is going to go into overdrive to compensate. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to drive you mad. Your hand is programmed to function in tandem with your slower body processes right now. Once it speeds up, the hand is going to short circuit. You won’t be able to reprogram it yourself while you’re in that state, so I’ll have to.”

         “You’ve done this a lot?” Tony slurred.

         “I learned how to do it myself after the fourth attachment.” Tony’s heart skipped as he realized that Nebula meant she had suffered this alone for years.

         “What else is he going to do to me?” Tony murmured. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t let himself. _Stark men are made of iron._ If he cried, it meant that Thanos had won. Tony couldn’t let him win, not with so much at stake.

         “They’re coming. Remember, you have to get me over into your cell.”

         He didn’t want to try, though. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget everything that was happening until the world stopped turning inside out and everything was back to the way it was.

         Footsteps echoed down the corridor, clanking heavily. Whoever it was bringing them their food, they were big.

         Tony gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t give up that easily. Dismembered hand or not, he was going to fight. The resolve strengthened in his gut until he had almost convinced himself he was ballsy enough to attack whoever it was approaching.

         He wasn’t sure how to power the repulsor in his hand yet, but he’d been Tony Stark long before he became Iron Man. And Tony Stark knew how to fight.

         _He_ had launched himself out of a cave in the middle of nowhere, fire and hell raining down beneath him. _He_ had synthesized a brand-new element and cured himself of the palladium poisoning as it ate him alive. _He_ was the one who infiltrated a known terrorist’s headquarters with only his brain and skills to aid him. _He was Tony Stark and he would not be left to rot on this damned spaceship._

Tony steeled himself as he struggled to his feet. With one eye aimed at the bars caging him inside and the other searching for anything, _anything,_ he could use as a weapon, both his real and his artificial hands curled into fists.

         Then their guard swung into view.

         “I’m glad to see you on your feet, Anthony.” Thanos smiled down at him and Tony’s breath left him in a whoosh of air.

         He saw the Mad Titan’s grin as his lackies sliced through Tony’s flesh and bone. The smell was terrible but the look in Thanos’s eyes had been worse. Tony stumbled backwards.

         “I’ve brought you some food.”

         Tony didn’t respond, and his eyes never left Thanos as he knelt down to release the locks that kept the holographic bars in place.

         “Will you eat?”

         Tony spared one quick look at the tray Thanos was carrying. It was uncharacteristic to picture the large alien carrying something so domestic as a food tray, but Tony’s humor had fizzled out somewhere between here and the installation of his new hand.

         The tray seemed normal enough – Tony even recognized some of the things on it. A steak, fresh-smelling rolls, and what appeared to be mashed potatoes. The others were a mixture of alien vegetation. Purple, leafy sprouts and black grains composed a salad of sorts, and the steak was smothered in a sauce that smelled like gravy but had the appearance of orange glaze. It steamed invitingly, and Tony almost forgot he was supposed to be fighting.

         _Almost._

Tony tried to force his feet to move, but they remained solidly attached to their place in the floor. His fists trembled but they too did not move anywhere near Thanos’s nose which is where Tony desperately wanted them to be.

         “I hope you will at least try it.” Thanos set the tray down in front of Tony. “The cook went through quite a bit of trouble to prepare this for you. I truly believe you will like it.”

         “How do I know you haven’t poisoned it?” Tony managed to get out between gritted teeth. His heart was racing a million beats per second.

         Thanos had the nerve to look wounded. “Why would I poison you, Anthony? I’ve gone through the trouble of saving you, enhancing you, and now feeding you.”

         Tony scoffed. “I think you and I are seeing two very different situations here. You haven’t rescued anyone. You kidnapped me, mutilated me, and now you’re manipulating me. I may be open minded, but you can’t spin this in any way for this to shed a positive light on yourself.”

         Thanos let out a deep sigh. He turned back towards the door before replying. “You may look at it this way now, Anthony, but I can assure you that I see more clearly than you. You’re a smart man. You’ll understand what is happening in due course.”

         Tony watched him exit the cell and power the blue bars to close behind him, separating the two. He’d never felt so grateful for the confinement.

         “Wait!” Nebula’s voice shouted through the air and Tony started. He’d forgotten she was even there.

         Thanos hesitated, peering into the cell next to Tony’s.

         “You need to let me into his cell.” Nebula’s husky voice pleaded. “If you value his sanity, you’ll leave us together.”

         Tony could see the wheels turning in Thanos’s head as he contemplated the million different scenarios that could happen with Nebula betraying Thanos again and stealing off into the night. Tony had only known her for a brief time and he could already imagine at least thirty-two different escape plans the cyborg might use. Some of them weren’t too bad and Tony filed those strategies away in the back of his mind in case she didn’t use them.

         “Why?” Thanos’s eyes narrowed.

         “I need to reprogram his hand to adjust to his body specifications once his processes speed up.” Nebula answered simply.

         Thanos looked over at Tony, studied him. Then he said, “Fine.”

         He did something on the panel between the two cells, out of sight from Tony’s perspective, and the wall between the Tony and Nebula disappeared. Just like that.

         Tony blinked rapidly to clear his vision in case he had missed something. But no. There was a wall. Now there wasn’t.

         Science!Tony breathed heavily.

         Nebula looked a little worse for wear and new bruises littered the organic parts of her body. The robotic portions were dinged up, indicating that woman had gone a long while since her “ _upgrades”_ had started.

         Thanos eyed the two for a moment before turning back to Tony. “If she hurts you, tell me. I will not stand for anyone hurting you.” Then he was gone, and Tony and Nebula were left alone.

         “What the hell happened to you while I was gone?” Tony demanded, moving over to kneel next to the blue woman.

         “The other children are very protective of _Daddy._ They wanted to show me exactly what they thought of my actions against him. Pathetic. I’m in a cell and they can’t even face me by themselves. They’d piss their uniforms if Gamora were here.”

         “No offense but this is seriously one fucked up family.”

         Nebula looked at him, bemused. “You should see the reunions.”

         Tony stared at her. “Did you- was that a joke?”

         Nebula cracked a small smile. “I make one on occasion.”

         Tony felt himself returning her smile and just like that, a new, tender, alliance was brokered between the two. He felt somewhat reassured knowing he wasn’t completely alone on this spaceship in the middle of _space._

         “If you want, I can take a look at your mechanical parts. I’m pretty good with this kind of stuff. Actually, I’m brilliant at it.”

         Nebula glanced down at herself. Unconcerned, she replied, “I’ve been through worse. He may be a monster, but Thanos doesn’t use subpar materials when he’s crafting his children. The parts will fix themselves in time. The worst of it is already gone.”

         “The _worst of it?_ What exactly was going on down here for this not to be the ‘worst of it’?” Tony gestured to Nebula’s bruises. They were beginning to turn black against her blue, gray, and purple mottled skin.

         “Leave it, Stark.” Her tone brokered no chance for arguing so Tony changed the subject.

         “So, what do we need to do about this hand?” Tony looked down at it reluctantly. He could feel its allure calling to his mechanic heart. The golden facets blinked at him seductively. Hating his weakness, Tony shook his head to clear his confusion.

         “You might want to brace yourself. It’s going to hurt a lot.”

         Tony sat down. “You wouldn’t happen to have a gag on you?”

         Without warning, Nebula detached her arm and held it out to him.

         There was an awkward pause before Tony burst out laughing. “That- I can’t believe you just Buzz Lightyear-ed me! Oh my god!”

         Nebula’s small smile grew until he could see her teeth glinting, white and sharp. There was something wickedly funny beneath her no-bullshit exterior. Tony briefly wondered what she might have been like if Thanos had never captured her. Would the woman before him be as warm and witty as he suspected?

         He felt saddened when he realized he’d never find out. Whatever happened, Thanos had damaged something in her and Tony felt a keen loss at the thought of a kindred spirit that might have been.

         Nebula reattached her arm and her grin faded. “I have nothing that will help with the pain. You will just have to bear it or pass out.”

         Tony sighed. “I’m used to pain. Just do it as quickly as you’re able.”

         Nebula hesitated, her own hands hovering over Tony’s arm. “Just remember, the first time is always the hardest.”

         “I know you meant for that to be encouraging but it was really depressing.”

         “I didn’t mean to reassure you. I’m preparing you.”

         Tony’s eyes met her levelled gaze. Another silent conversation passed between them and Tony nodded.

         Quick as a snake, Nebula had the plates open on his arm before he could blink.

         _That wasn’t so bad,_ Tony thought to himself, observing her work.

         Then Nebula began fingering through the wires underneath the surface and Tony saw white.

 

* * *

 

 

         Peter hated Vormir. It was a desolate looking planet with creepy mist and red canyons covering the surface. It was ideal for his suit, he blended in pretty well with the shadows, but it also made searching for somebody a pain in his butt.

         The Doctor floated several yards above him to search a greater distance and Peter was left doing recon on anything Strange pointed out.

         So far, he’d discovered a weird shaped rock, another weird shaped rock, and a rock that actually looked a bit like John Travolta if you were standing in a very particular position. After that Strange pointed out another oddity that was, surprise, a rock.

         Peter hated rocks.

         He was from Queens. Vormir was like travelling through his worst nightmare.

         Quill hadn’t even given them much to go on. Gamora had green skin and wore leather. Peter supposed he didn’t know many green-skinned, leather clad women but he still wasn’t sure how common they were in space. Maybe the planet had a secret habitation of green-skinned, leather wearing women and he’d never discover which one was Gamora because none of them would speak English.

         If that happened he’d never get to Mr. Stark on time.

         Maybe this Gamora woman had the ability to turn invisible.

         After the eighty-seventh odd-shaped rock Peter had almost convinced himself that the others were playing a prank on the two Earthlings by making them search a deserted planet for a woman that didn’t exist.

         Or maybe they had already found her and had left him and Doctor Strange behind.

         As if sensing Peter’s worry, the Doctor glanced down at him from his position above Peter. “Their ship is still there.”

         “How did you-”

         “I can read minds.”

         Peter gaped up at him “ _Seriously?_ That’s so cool! What am I thinking right now?”

         Doctor Strange rolled his eyes. “I was being sarcastic. I can see their ship parked up on that cliff.”

         Peter glanced back at said cliff. Just as Strange said, the ship was sitting peacefully.

         Peter blushed, embarrassed. “It just feels like we’re on a fool’s errand, you know? I mean, what if she’s holed up somewhere hiding. We could look like the enemy to her.”

         Strange looked thoughtful. “You may be right. If that’s the case, we’ll just have to hope that the others find her first. We can’t do anything now that would indicate we’re on her side should she see us.”

         Peter was beginning to feel like frustration was becoming his default emotion. “This is pointless. We could be rescuing Mr. Stark _right now-”_

         “Hold on-” The Doctor cut him off and floated a few yards away. In a moment, he was out of sight.

         Peter rolled his eyes and began climbing the cliff face that now separated the two. “If this is another rock, I swear to Thor…” Peter trailed off. On the other side of the bluff was a figure. She looked to have fallen the way down, but she was too far for Peter to tell if she was breathing or not.

         Doctor Strange was already floating down towards her and Peter shot a web at a particularly long rock jutting out of the side of the precipice. Then he swung down until he was hurtling past the Doctor. He landed on his feet lightly next the figure.

         Green skin, leather garments, Peter was fairly certain they’d found this Gamora woman.     

         She was breathing lightly but there was no blood, no bruising or awkwardly jutting limbs to indicate she’d taken any damage in the fall down.

         As Peter approached her, he saw her eyelids flutter.

         “Um, Miss Gamora?” He tried.

         Her eyebrows furrowed, and Peter tried again.

         “Miss Gamora? Um, Quill sent us to look for you. He’s here. We want to help you.”

         Doctor Strange landed behind him and moved swiftly to Peter’s side.

         With a practiced ease, he knelt down and felt for a pulse. “It’s steady. She should be coming around in a moment.”

         Gamora let out a light moan and her arm twitched. “Thanos… Stop… Thanos…”

         “Well, at least we know she’s on our side.” Peter murmured darkly.

         The Doctor shushed him and Peter tried not to feel offended.

         “Gamora? Can you hear me?”

         She wiggled slightly in response, her eyes cracking open. In the span of a heartbeat she was on her feet, a weapon drawn. She staggered for a second before regaining her balance. Breathing heavily, she levelled her wicked looking blade at the two.

         “Quill sent us.” Doctor Strange repeated Peter’s earlier words and Peter saw her grip on the blade waver.

         “Who are you?” Gamora ground out. Although she appeared free of injuries, she winced as if something had punched her in the stomach.

         “Peter, if you would contact the others and tell them we’ve found their teammate,” The Doctor levelled Peter with a knowing look.

         Catching on, Peter immediately tapped on the neat little device in his ear that Quill had given them. He may not like the man but his gadgets were pretty cool. He’d never admit it out loud, though.

         “Hello? Is this thing working?”

         Quill’s voice crackled to life in Peter’s ear. “We can hear you, kid. Any updates?”

         _Awesome,_ Peter thought to himself, speculating ways he might make a rudimentary transmission device for himself when he got back home. It would be an amazing science project.

         “We found Gamora.”

         There was an extended silence on the other end. After a few moments, Quill’s voice returned. “We’ve got your coordinates. We’re headed your way now.” His voice was breathless, hoping, and Peter felt a little bad about how he’d treated Quill earlier. They all had people they’d lost to this mad war. He shouldn’t begrudge someone their need to search beyond expectation for somebody they cared for deeply. Someone like Mr. Stark to Peter.

         Gamora seemed to have calmed slightly in the few seconds it took for Peter to communicate with Quill. It seemed Doctor Strange was telling her about the events that had taken place for them to end up on this remote planet.

         “And you’re from Earth as well?” Gamora directed the question to Peter and he startled.

         “Y-yes.”

         “Then you are Peter’s people?”

         Peter was confused. “Um, yes? How did you know my name?”

         “I don’t know your name.” Now Gamora looked confused.

         “You just said my name. I’m Peter.” He was really beginning to wonder if perhaps Gamora had fallen from the cliff and damaged her brain.

         “You’re Peter too?” Gamora looked as if she’d had a revelation. “Is every male from your planet named Peter? Then what about this Kevin Bacon? Why is he also not named Peter?”

         Peter was really getting bewildered. “Who else is named Peter?” He cried.

         “Quill. You said you are with him.”

         Doctor Strange and Peter looked at each other.

         As if summoned, Quill himself soared over the cliff above them and hurtled down. For a moment Peter worried that he was going to end up splattering himself across the red rocks but at the last moment Quill swooped upwards and dropped the last few feet.

         You found me.” Gamora breathed.

         “I knew you weren’t dead.” Quill replied, just as husky. “I would feel it if you were gone.”

         They embraced, and Peter and the Doctor were left to stand awkwardly by.

         Soon, Peter heard the rumblings of the spacecraft before it too appeared over the blood-colored mountains. It landed several yards away and the rest of the Space Avengers tumbled out, running towards them.

         Drax reached them first and scooped Quill and Gamora up into a hug. Mantis flitted around them, seeming to absorb the energy of the group and laughing alongside them. She patted a body every second or so and her face lit up again and again as if experiencing the joy for the first time over and over.

         Kraglin grinned from the entrance to the ship.

         Doctor Strange coughed politely.

         Quill looked over to them from his group hug. There were tears glistening in his eyes and Peter felt his heart twinge in sadness. Would he get to hug his loved ones ever again? Aunt May, Ned, MJ, Mr. Stark… Even Flash would be a welcome sight if it meant he was home again with everything back in its proper place.

         “I’m pleased that this reunion has gone as well as could be planned, but Peter and I also have urgent matters to attend.”

         Quill wiped at his eyes. “You guys helped us. That puts you in my good books. I know I said I’d drop you back off where you want to go but I’ll help you find your dad.” He looked at Peter.

         “No, he’s not my-”

         “And if it means getting another shot at Thanos, I’m in.” Quill’s mouth slanted into a grin – it was a hard and feral thing.

         “You’re going to attack Thanos?” Gamora glanced over to Peter.

         “He has my friend.” Peter said defiantly. Let Gamora try and sway them away from his mission. He’d just gotten Quill to agree. Now he just needed his ship.

         “He has the Soul Stone. He’s more powerful than ever. You have no hope at defeating him.” Gamora said bluntly.

         Peter clenched his jaw, ready to argue back.

         “But he still has Nebula too. I can’t abandon her to him like I did before.”

         Peter gaped at her.

         “I’m in.” Gamora nodded to Quill who beamed.

         “If you are going to battle I am always ready for combat.” Drax added sagely.

         “You’ve got yourself a team.” Quill said to Peter.

         For the first time since Peter had been in space, he felt his spirits rise. “We’re going to save Mr. Stark.” He said quietly, mostly to himself.

         The Doctor spoke up from behind Peter, “We’re going to save this universe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look a lil bit of smiles before more angst :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post. I meant to post last week but I've been on vacation since last Monday. Fun fact: I actually got to see the Stephen Colbert taping live on Tuesday so I saw Josh Brolin's interview. That's right. I saw Thanos arm wrestle Stephen Colbert. 
> 
> But anyway, here's the chapter. I don't love it but I needed it to further the plot to where I want it to go. 
> 
> Thanks to all of you who have left comments. You're great and you fuel me.

“That was nothing.” Tony wheezed once he’d regained consciousness. “I barely even felt that.”

         Nebula rolled her eyes.

         Tony struggled into a sitting position. At some point he must have sprawled onto the floor during their impromptu operation, completely passed out. His arm screamed righteous fury at him and he tried not to whimper. He was entirely too old to be whimpering.

         “Great news. You’re cured.” Nebula deadpanned at him.

         “I feel cured. Like a whole new person.” Snarking felt natural to Tony even if absolutely nothing else did. What better way to cope with debilitating mental and physical trauma than sarcasm?

         Nebula regarded him with something close to fondness in her eyes for a moment before her attention was stolen by the plate of food still sitting in Tony’s half of the cell. It no longer steamed, and the orange gravy stuff was beginning to congeal but it beckoned invitingly to the both of them.

         Tony’s stomach rumbled.

         Nebula glanced back at him with a question written across her expression.

         “There’s enough to share.” Tony answered.

         She breathed out a sigh of relief, as if she’d been expecting him to deny her a share of the food.

         “Hey, you helped me. The least I can do is give you some of this alien nourishment.” Tony cracked a smile which Nebula returned with some hesitation.

         They both scooted over to the tray and stared at it.

         “So… how should we do this?”

         There weren’t any utensils and Tony wasn’t sure what to do with a thick slab of meat and no knife.

         “Watch.” Nebula’s forearm opened up and a sliver of a blade extended forward. It was thin but sharp looking and Tony leaned back minutely at its sudden appearance.

         She began sawing away at the steak until two even slices were divided on either side of the tray. Then, the small blade retracted back into her arm. No seam was visible, and Tony would have doubted anything was behind that artificial skin had he not seen the knife himself.

         “Neat party trick.” Tony acknowledged. “There a reason you didn’t pull it out earlier?”

         “Sometimes a secret is worth more than a knife in your hand. I prefer to wait for my opportunities. I’ve rushed into too many situations to not be cautious.” Nebula started to tear into the food in a frenzy.

         “But Thanos installed your arm. He doesn’t know about it?”

         “Not even the Mad Titan knows every little thing about me.” She paused her eating to answer. “I had this put in a while back in a small shop on Xandar. I thought it might come in handy one day. Never expected to use it for this, though.”

         She trusted him with this information, Tony realized. The show of faith meant more to him than he could put into words but his sense of camaraderie with the woman strengthened.

         Tony regarded his own golden arm. If he ever escaped, – _No,_ when _he escaped. There could be no ‘ifs’ in this situation. He would escape._ – he would shred everything that screamed _alien_ from this prosthetic and build it anew. He’d make it as human as he is with all the subtle safeguards of his suit.

         As Tony plotted, he ate. He knew that his bad eating habits would do him no good out here. If he wanted to survive, he needed to treat this like he had in Afghanistan.

         But Thanos was smarter than a group of Earth terrorists. This was a new playing field and Tony didn’t know the rules of the game. He wasn’t even sure of the limits.

         The golden arm glinted at him. Why give your enemy a share of your treasure? Why give him a share of treasure with a hidden weapon right in the heart of it?

         The repulsor puzzled Tony the most. Of course, Thanos probably realized Tony had no way of knowing how to work it, but he likely also knew Tony’s capabilities. Mechanics and engineering were kind of Tony’s ‘thing’. If he didn’t know how to work the repulsor now, he’d figure out a way to work it later. Why would Thanos take the chance when Tony had already sworn to kill him?

         _Because he doesn’t believe you will._

         Which is ridiculous, because the second he gets the chance, Tony is blasting his way out of here just like he had in Afghanistan.

         _But this isn’t Afghanistan. This is a brand-new world, a brand-new universe._

Tony was shaken from his internal musings by Nebula shooting to her feet.

         Thanos was standing in the doorway again. Tony had no idea how he’d gotten there without either of them noticing. The old bastard was quieter on his feet than he’d led Tony to believe.

         Slowly, Tony stood too.

         The blue bars of the cell vanished and Thanos beckoned Tony forward.

         Nebula remained standing, her form trembling minutely in rage or fear, Tony wasn’t sure.

         “Walk with me.” It wasn’t a request.

         Against his will, Tony’s feet shuffled forward. He hated how timid he must appear to the alien with his head cowed and his mouth shut.

         His personality yelled from inside his head to bitch at the Titan and make sassy remarks until Thanos went away, but his arm sent a throbbing jolt to his brain in a painful reminder. He would have to curb his defiance for now. It wasn’t worth losing another limb over.

         Thanos led Tony down a lit hallway. They walked in silence for several minutes before Thanos broke the quiet. “How are you feeling?”

         Tony stared up at him in shock. “How am I feeling? Boy, that’s rich coming from the thing that cut my arm off.”

         Thanos looked nonplussed. “It doesn’t seem to be bothering you. You look healthier than you did when you boarded.”

         With all of his better judgement yanking on Tony’s verbal reins, he wasn’t entirely sure how his mouth kept moving. “I’m missing _an arm.”_

         “And you have gained a far superior one. I did warn you that compliance would be in your best interests. But my punishments do not come without some kind of reward.”

         Tony’s mouth clamped shut at that.

         “You’re special, Anthony. You do not belong in a cage. Earth has been one for you for far too long and I made the mistake of putting you in another.” Thanos came to a stop in front of a large solid-looking silver door. There was a keypad to the right of it and Thanos tapped in a code.

         The door slid open like something out of _Star Trek_ and Tony gaped.

         It was a workshop. Holographic screens littered the room above rolling chrome tables. Machines Tony couldn’t even begin to name whirred and hummed quietly and a floating drone zipped about, tinkering with one thing before flying to a screen and tapping out a program of some kind.

         It didn’t acknowledge Tony as he stepped further into the room, eyes flitting wildly.

         “What is this?” Reality crashed back in on him and Tony turned to Thanos.

         “It was security’s quarters. I had it… refurnished. Do you like it?”

         “ _What is this?”_ Tony asked again. He didn’t trust gifts, especially not from a mad alien Titan intent on destroying the galaxy.

         “I’m freeing you from your cage, Anthony.”

         _Does no one in space speak literally? Why is everything a metaphor?_

         Thanos sighed and glanced about the room. “You are of no use to anyone holed away in some cell. You are not my prisoner, and I will not treat you as one.”

         “Then what exactly am I?”

         “You are my guest. In time, perhaps you will be something more.”

         Tony shivered. “Yeah, I think not. Guests can come and go as they please. I think I fit the definition of prisoner a little more closely.”

         It was like talking to a brick wall, though. Thanos shook his head. “I want you to use this room.”

         “Aren’t you afraid I’ll build a bomb and blow us all to smithereens?”

         “You cannot harm me. And bombing this ship would kill Nebula too, would it not?”

         _Damn._

“I want you to realize your potential Anthony. There are sleeping quarters in here as well and you will have open access to the ship. Wherever I may go, you can as well. This technology, it is far more advanced than anything you have seen on Earth. I look forward to seeing what you create with it. But please, do not make me regret gifting this room to you. An arm is not the only thing I can take from you, nor is it the most devastating.”

         Tony’s heart dropped like a stone into his stomach.

         “You may program the code on the door to any series of numbers that you will remember. It will limit who has access to this room. And do not worry, no one but I can reach you here.”

         The comment was not nearly as reassuring as Thanos likely intended for it to be. Tony’s horror deepened until the words on his tongue dried up into a fading thought.

         “We can do so much together. You’ll see.” Thanos exited the room as swiftly as he’d appeared before his and Nebula’s cell.

         Nebula. Thanos had said that he’d have open access to the ship. Tony could use that to his advantage.

         He hurried back down the hall in the same direction that he’d come from. Sending a silent prayer that he was going the right way, Tony skidded to a halt in front of a fork.

         The hallway sectioned off into two different paths. He didn’t remember this when he’d come this way with Thanos.

         Maybe Thanos was laughing at him from somewhere, watching through hidden cameras. He’d set Tony loose and now he was going to watch him get lost in the first five minutes of semi-freedom.

         Tony’s head swiveled back and forth. Right or left? Taking a deep breath, Tony let out a loud, “Nebula!” and winced at the awkward silence that followed.

         Well, it had been worth a sho-

         “Stark?” It was faint, but it had definitely been Nebula’s voice and it had come from the right hallway.

         He’d been about to go left so he supposed this was a good sign.

         Tony hurried down the correct passageway until he could spot the glowing cerulean that was undoubtedly the bars from their cells.

         “What are you doing?” Nebula hissed and stood from where she’d been lounging towards the back of the cell.

         “Thanos gave me free reign of the ship.” That sounded weirder out loud, Tony realized.

         Nebula gaped at him.

         He shrugged.

         “And the guards?”

         “Supposedly they won’t bother me. I think. Big Guy really needs to learn how to speak plainly. I kind of just guess at his meanings.”

         Nebula shook her head in wonder. “This could be beneficial.”

         Tony stepped closer. “That’s what I was thinking. We could-”

         Before he could start spilling his guts to her, Nebula cut him off with a wave of her cybernetic arm. “Careful, Stark. The walls have ears here.”

         Tony’s mouth snapped shut and he glanced around warily.

         “Don’t waste this opportunity.” Nebula looked at him meaningfully. They would have to figure out a means of communication that didn’t blast their intentions out loud for the entire ship to hear.

         A small smirk played at the corners of Tony’s mouth.

         He had his first project and a brand-new workshop to start it in.

 

* * *

 

 

         Now that everyone kind of had the same priorities, Peter could fully appreciate the awesomeness that was traveling in a spaceship. Quill had been eagerly showing him and the Doctor around, describing what each button and lever did. Peter guessed Quill was just so grateful the two Avengers had found Gamora that they were basically the best people in the universe right now.

         He’d just shown Peter how to work the space shower and Peter had never felt so excited to bathe in his life. _It was a space shower._

Gamora had taken over piloting, claiming that she knew where they could find information on Thanos’s whereabouts. His search for all the Infinity Stones required a lot of man power and he was bound to leave a trail somewhere. They just needed to pick up on it.

         Peter found Gamora terrifyingly competent, so he had made the decision to trust her judgement on this. Plus, she sounded like she had dealt with Thanos numerous times and if she was still breathing, Peter counted her as a Valuable Asset.

         The Doctor made some mention of finding back up, but Peter wasn’t sure when exactly that was going to come into play.

         He was beginning to suspect they were deliberately leaving him out of some of the planning aspects because of his age but he had yet to stumble upon a secret meeting being held without him, so he couldn’t really complain.

         “Hey, are you gonna want to wash that?” Quill gestured to Peter’s suit.

         He glanced down as if just remembering that he’d been wearing it for over a day now.

         “Oh, this cleans itself. Part of its technology. But I wouldn’t mind some normal clothes to wear. This can get kind of itchy.” Peter tugged on the neckline of the suit. He didn’t want to take it off, really, but he also didn’t want to sleep in it. And Peter was exhausted.

         The emotional roller coaster he’d been on all day had eaten up all of his energy. And he was _starving._

         “I think we can probably find something for you. Kraglin’s stuff might be the closest to your size.” With a wave of his arm, Quill beckoned Peter over to a small room. It contained a bed and a wardrobe.

         “Will he mind?” Peter stood awkwardly in the doorway.

         “Kraglin? Nah. He’s just happy to be here most of the time.”

         “Oh,” Peter took a small step forward. “Well, if you’re sure.”

         Quill tossed him a worn shirt and pair of pants from the wardrobe. Peter caught it on instinct and glanced down.

         He was tall enough that it would probably fit.

         “Come on, I’ll show you where you and the wizard guy will be staying. If Gamora is heading where I think she’s heading, you’re gonna want to rest up before we land.”

         Peter followed behind Quill to another room. The floor was covered in dead leaves that crunched underfoot.

         Peter’s brows furrowed in confusion. _How did they get leaves up in space? Where did they_ come _from?_

 _“_ This is Groot’s room. You can sleep in here for now. He’s off with another of our teammates and some big douchebag looking for a hammer or something. We’ll figure out living arrangements when he comes back.” Quill crossed his arms and seemed proud of himself for planning this far ahead. “He’s kind of a teenager, so I figure you’d be most comfortable here.”

         Doctor Strange appeared in the doorway. “And where shall I stay?”

         Quill jumped nearly a foot in the air. _“Jesus Christ, dude. Wear a bell or something!”_

         The Doctor waited patiently as Quill got his breathing under control.

         Finally composed, Quill stood up straight and waved the Doctor down the hall. “Here, you can have Rocket’s room.”

         They were out of sight by now, but Peter heard the Doctor’s crisp voice say distinctly, “ _Why is there a hairball in this bed?”_

He wasn’t sure who exactly this Groot and Rocket were, but they seemed like they would be some interesting aliens to meet. He couldn’t wait to see more real live extraterrestrials once this Space Avengers crew was back together.

         Peter stripped himself of the Iron Spider suit quickly and felt relief as cool air hit his skin for the first time in hours. Maybe he should take one of those _space showers_ first before he went to sleep. But he was also still hungry.

         Debating with himself for a moment, Peter decided that food would be his priority, then sleep. If he woke up before they landed wherever they were going, he’d grab a quick _space shower._

It’d be like being an astronaut.

         He dressed quickly in Kraglin’s clothes. The pants fit pretty well, if a bit baggy, but the shirt seemed a little short.

         Oh well. He figured he’d survive walking around in them for now.

         Peter exited Groot’s room and made his way back to where he remembered the rest of the crew gathering. Sure enough, he found Drax shoveling a large amount of something – _were those nuts?_ – into his mouth. Peter’s stomach growled loudly in response.

         Mantis sat next to Drax and smiled warmly at him.

         Peter figured that was as good of an invitation as any and sat down next to her.

         “Hey, where could I find some food that won’t kill a human?”

         “Right here!” A plate full of colorful fruits landed in front of Peter and Quill appeared right after, sitting across from him.

         Peter didn’t need to be told twice and dug in.

         “Good news, kid. You have enough time to get some shut eye before we land. Gamora thinks we’ve got a good shot at getting some information on the Big Man. Apparently, he always sends a representative down there for supplies whenever he passes through the sector.” Quill watched him eat with a quiet sort of fascination.

         The fruit was great but unlike anything Peter had ever tasted. A tart, but salty tang splashed across his taste buds with every bite. He wondered briefly about the planet that produced such cool fruit.

         “How does Gamora know so much about Thanos?” Peter questioned.

         “Oh, she was sort of like, kidnapped by him and he considers her a daughter, but it was a really weird relationship. Then he tried to kill her and now we’re gonna try and kill him.” A smile appeared on Quill’s face, full of nonchalance.

         Peter felt his mouth drop open before he remembered his manners. “His _daughter?”_

         “Adopted daughter. I’m telling you, it was really weird.”

         “No kidding.” He set the fruit down, his stomach no longer trying to eat itself. “And I thought I had family issues.”

         “Oh, believe me, on this ship, your family is probably the most normal out of all of us.”

         There was a glint in Quill’s eye that seemed to beg Peter to ask but he resisted for the time being. He figured he was going to have plenty of time to learn about these space dwellers while he played catch up with Thanos and Mr. Stark.

         “You said we’re heading somewhere to get information on Thanos. Where are we going, anyway?”

          Quill grinned. “Knowhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what to put here so go out and do something nice today


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated Christmas?
> 
> Look I did say that I would be updating this irregularly. 
> 
> That said, thank you all for the kind comments you left even as I took my semester long hiatus. You guys are some troopers. I probably won't be able to respond to all of them like I used to. 
> 
> I'm not that busy I'm just really lazy and bad at making conversation. I do read all of them though. You're the reason I smile creepily in public.

Settling into the workshop Thanos had set up for him was surprisingly easy all things considered. The hardest part was figuring out where everything was located. Tony supposed he could’ve asked the little floating droid for some help – it seemed like it knew what it was doing – but Tony didn’t fully trust a machine that served Thanos.

After wasting an hour searching for a damn soldering tool, Tony had finally assembled an assortment of parts and hardware that could conceivably make up a communication device.

This was good. This was fine. He was great at creating. Even in the midst of terror and pain he built the first Iron Man suit and a miniaturized arc reactor. He’d always been good at performing under pressure.

Keeping one wary eye on the hovering robot, Tony got to work.

It took him an hour.

He supposed he could have completed the ear pieces in half the time, but he had to allow himself a few minutes to familiarize himself with the various components to make sure he wasn’t going to be sticking something potentially harmful into his ear canal. Not to mention working around the new hand was uncomfortable and made his stomach roll in disgust. It felt unnatural – not being able to feel the materials in his hand. He’d always been a fairly tactile person and handling the tools with no sense of texture made him want to recoil.

Blasted aliens.  

But after a while, the communication pieces were finished, and he shot out of the workshop to deliver his new treasure to his only ally on the ship.

At first glance, it looked like Nebula was sleeping, but as Tony made his way closer to the prison, he realized she was simply watching.

She didn’t move to greet him as he approached but her eyes darted to look at the two pieces of technology he kept gripped in his hand.

“Are those-”

“Tickets into our super-secret good guys club.” Tony confirmed.

“They could easily be hacked.” Nebula scoffed, but she appeared intrigued.

Tony tried to let the comment slide, but he couldn’t help the sliver of offense prick his ego. “This is verified Stark technology. It operates on its own frequency and scrambles all messages between the sending and receiving.”

“You completed all this that quickly?” She still seemed apprehensive.

“I’m Tony Stark. I can disassemble and reassemble a working car in half a day. Of course I can make two measly ear comms in an hour.”

 Nebula let a sliver of a smile creep around the edges of her mouth. “I believe you. But let us hope that these are enough for now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Thanos is clever. He will have already learned that you have made these and likely the purpose for which they were created. I doubt they’ll concern him enough for him to interfere, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up when he’s still ten steps ahead of us.”

Tony had taken that into consideration. “I understand, but hopefully these will become a way of updating each other when we can’t speak in person. Whatever happens, we’ll be current in any shifting news on this ship.”

Nebula nodded her understanding.

It was then that Tony heard footsteps approaching. His first instinct was to retreat back to the workshop but a sense of loyalty to Nebula kept him in place.

It was Anilik.

“What do you want?” Nebula snarled, looking impressively fearsome for someone currently trapped behind glowing bars.

“Sister,” Anilik acknowledged the blue woman with a contemptuous sneer. “I have no orders for you. Yet.” The threat hung in the air.

“Taking the scenic route on your way to go kiss someone’s ass then?” Nebula inched closer to the bars, reminding Tony of a jaguar bracing itself to leap on its prey.

Anilik let out a raspy growl and stepped closer to the cell. “You’d best pray, fallen one, that I never receive orders to re-educate you. You’re not in favor any longer despite your closeness to Gamora. I will break you.”

“Can’t wait, _sister._ ”

Tony watched the exchange with some fascination. “Just if anyone cares, I’ll be putting my money on Nebula. No offense, Bambi. You just don’t look like you could take a hard punch let alone a few hundred pounds of angry cybernetic woman.”

Anilik finally wrenched her eyes away from Nebula long enough to regard him with cool derision. “You’d be wise to dissociate yourself from her, Stark. You have the potential to become something great under my father’s tutelage. But not if you attach yourself to scum like her.”

“Right,” Shrugging his shoulders, Tony let his best press smile fall into place. “I’ll take my chances.”

With a foreign look on her exotic face, Anilik remained silent for a few moments. “He’s going to save you.” She whispered reverently. Then she shook herself and any emotion fell from her expression. “I’m sent to collect you.”

“Collect me?” Tony did not like the sound of that. Not one bit.

“Yes. Father wants to eat with you.”

“Eat with me? Or eat me?” His breath came in short gasps and Tony fought to regain control. This was not the time.

Anilik looked confused. “Why would he eat-” She shook herself. “Thanos is supping. He’d like for you to join him.”

“And this is where a talking teapot tells me he’s not as bad as he seems right? If I don’t go now, will a candlestick come and serenade me later?” Dating Pepper all those years, he’d always thought he was the Beast. Never suspected he’d get the role of Belle. It was almost comical if it wasn’t so damned terrifying.

Anilik’s confusion grew more pronounced. “I do not understand. Do you require tea?”

Tony shook his head. “Never mind. Earth reference.”

Anilik didn’t look that convinced but she shook her head in a bizarrely human fashion. “Come with me.”

“And if I refuse?” He knew the answer already, but he wanted to hear her say it.

Anilik looked pointedly at Tony’s golden arm.

Uncomfortable, he tried to pull his ruined sleeve down to conceal more of it, as if by hiding it, he could pretend it didn’t exist.

“Fine.” Tony slipped one of the comms to Nebula before shuffling after the alien. As they walked, he fastened his own ear piece in his left ear. It was small enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone not looking for it, but he also wasn’t foolish enough to believe Thanos wouldn’t see it immediately.

Although he felt like he might choke on his own anxiety any second, the walk did give Tony a chance to observe more of the ship. He began memorizing the path as soon as he left the cell so he could easily return if he needed to escape back to familiar company.

_But there really isn’t any escape, is there? No matter where you go, you’re in his territory._

The thought made his stomach give another sickening lurch. He was sweating now.

The door they stopped in front of was fairly non-descript. It might have been the Disney elements swirling around in his head, but Tony had honestly expected a grander entrance. Vine covered pillars, perhaps. Or maybe some good old-fashioned gargoyles.

“Enter.” A rumbling voice Tony identified as Thanos rolled out from behind the door.

The room looked… just like every other room he’d seen on the ship. Dark, metal-y, and dripping in menace.

Tony was truly a bit disappointed.

Thanos sat at a large table covered in what might have been food. It also might have been the insides of whatever victim he’d most recently flayed. In space, it was hard to tell.

“Sit.” Thanos gestured to another chair across from him.

Reluctantly, Tony sat.

“Eat.”

Tony did not.

Thanos grinned. “You are still wary. That’s good. It means you are naturally suspicious and willing to question everything. I admire that in you.”

“You weren’t admiring it so much when you were slicing through my tendons.” Tony muttered, regretting the words as soon as they came out.

It was with some relief that he watched as Thanos’s smile stayed firmly in place.

“Your sense of humor, though it might be misguided at times, just may very well be what keeps you alive in the battles to come.” Thanos steepled his fingers together and leaned forward. “You have a fascinating mind, Anthony. It is unlike any other I have encountered in my journeys.”

Tony scoffed. “Yeah, I coulda told you that before you went through all the trouble. There’s a reason I’m a pariah even on Earth. You really didn’t need to travel the universe just to find an outcast.”

“Yes,” Humming, the alien settled back into his seat. “I know what it’s like to be the outcast.”

Responding was probably exactly what Thanos wanted so Tony held his tongue. He had some ideas on what may have set Violet Beauregarde across from him apart from the others on his home world.

“How is your arm?”

The change in subject made Tony lurch a bit and reflex forced his eyes down to the golden appendage. Just as quickly, he averted his gaze. “It’s not mine.”

“You may feel that way for some time, I’m afraid. It always does take a while for my children to become used to their new upgrades.”

Tony could feel his anger rising. His nails bit into his palm and at the first sting of his skin breaking, his fury was loose. “ _What do you want with me_?”

Thanos stared at him for a while. The silence stretched on until Tony began to believe that he would not answer.

“Anthony, I want to explain something to you.” Thanos leveled his gaze with Tony, causing him to shift uncomfortably. The alien seemed different now, gentle. Tony wasn’t sure what to do with the change in attitude.

“I am not like your lacking _friends._ I will not betray you when you need me most. I will never give you pain from which you would not recover. And I have never _needed_ anything from you. I require nothing. I want you here because I _want you here._ Do you understand?”

Tony didn’t.

Thanos sighed. “You have been used all your life. I understand your hesitation now. You cannot comprehend a situation in which you are not the provider. You see, I don’t want to use you for your brain with the hopes of gaining something out of it. I am not going to turn you into a weapon for my own purposes. I want to make you into something spectacular and watch you thrive in a universe you could have conquered ages ago had you the support you deserve.”

Tony’s mind was reeling but nothing was computing. He didn’t understand, he _couldn’t_ understand. This was a trick. It had to be. Thanos wanted him for something but he wasn’t giving up the information.

 _But for what purpose could he want you? Thanos is a_ god _by all accounts. What does_ God _want with Tony Stark? What could God ever_ gain _from Tony Stark? How do you contribute to the creature that can reshape galaxies?_

“I don’t-”

Thanos shushed him. “Think on it, Anthony. Who are your true enemies out here? I merely wish to give something to you. Why are you so eager to return to those who wish to drain you of your fire?”

“They don’t drain me.” The words sounded meek to Tony’s own ears.

Suddenly, Obie was behind him, arm slung across his shoulders. His veins were turning blue as his godfather ripped his heart out, smile flashing across whitened teeth.

Howard was sighing, Tony had never been good enough. Thor was choking him; his teammates were murmuring their distrust across the room. Steve was there too, and _did you know?_ Tony didn’t want to know the answer. _Rogers, did you know?_  Tony had _tried._ He’d tried _so hard._ It was never enough. It never could have been enough. A merchant of death can never become a guardian angel. Blood beget blood. And Stark blood had never been very sweet to begin with.

 

* * *

 

 

Now Peter had seen some really weird stuff in his lifetime. Granted, it hadn’t been a very long lifetime, but as an enhanced individual who spent most of his days swinging around on chemically constructed spiderwebs, he felt he could accurately say his list of _weird stuff_ was fairly extensive.

That said, Knowhere was a _really weird place._

Peter loved it.

It was exactly like all of his childhood fantasies that featured him as a rebel starship captain in some _Star Wars_ universe. It had seedy looking space bars, a plethora of seedy looking aliens, and best of all, _space arcades._ Spacecades?

Whatever. Moral of the story, Knowhere was fricking awesome.

If they weren’t on a life or death mission to save both his mentor and the fate of the entire universe, Peter would be begging his temporary teammates for some space money so he could go play some space Mario Kart.

Peter made a mental note to come back when purple aliens weren’t threatening the survival of the whole galaxy.

“So, what’s the plan?” He was trying not to bounce but the rest of the crew were being very slow in disembarking and Peter was ready to _go._

“Ease up, buddy. We don’t wanna look too suspicious here. People can literally smell the weirdness on you.” Quill brushed past him and scanned the crowd around the docking area.

The people, or aliens, paid them no mind beyond the occasional curious glance.

“Okay, I’m calm. I’m calm. Where are we going?”

Strange came over to stand next to Peter looking all the world like a disgruntled father who had been dragged to a baseball match he very much did not want to attend. Peter suspected he was only hovering so he could also be let in on the super-secret plan that neither Quill nor Gamora seemed all too keen on sharing.

 “Well, we know Thanos has already been here. But a man like that is bound to make a lot of noise galloping around the galaxy like he is. So, we’re here to see if anyone might be amenable to sharing some directions on where he’s going next. If we know where he’s going, we can try and beat him there and beat him up.” Quill looked extremely proud of himself.

“That’s the plan?” Strange deadpanned.

“Well, yeah. Why?”

“He just beat us – quite soundly, I might add – on the last planet we were on and that was him working alone. How exactly do you plan on beating him when he’s on a ship probably surrounded by many, many soldiers?” Strange’s voice came out a bit strangled and he was massaging his temples.

“We, uh, we have a contingency plan.” Quill looked somewhat cowed.

“Oh, please share.” The doctor lowered his hands and pinned his eyes on Quill who shifted on his feet.

“Well, our teammates are coming back to meet us here. With them, we’ll have…” Quill paused. “Ten people on our side?” It sounded almost like a question and Peter felt his excitement fade. In its place, a hopeless void began opening up in his chest.

What was he thinking? How could he possibly hope to defeat Thanos? Iron Man was the strongest superhero he knew and even Mr. Stark had fallen to the alien.

“Ten. People.” Dr. Strange was beginning to twitch.

“One of them is really strong. He said he was a god or something.”

“A god?” Peter lifted his head again to watch the interaction. “Like Thor?”

“Thor! Yeah! That’s what his name was! Seemed a bit like a douche if you ask me but I guess he could be useful in a pickle.” Quill scratched his head and then glanced at them, question filling his eyes. “How do you guys know him?”

Strange and Peter exchanged looks. It seemed they were agreed on this, then. If Thor was coming, then it was possible that the full might of Asgard was coming with him. With Asgard, they might stand half a chance.

Peter remembered seeing footage of New York and Sokovia. He could only imagine what an army full of people with Thor’s strength could do.

It seemed their luck just might be turning.

“Where are you to meet them?” Strange looked back at Quill who brightened when he realized he was no longer the target of their scrutiny.

“Follow me.”

The band of misfits set off at a brisk pace with Quill in the lead.

Peter alternated his pace to take in as many of the sights as he could. The world truly was a marvel. He would have assumed he was dreaming as he passed alien after alien, each one more fascinating than the last, but the happenings of the past few days were too real for him to mistake his current situation as anything but fact.

The people who passed by were all interesting, but the buildings were even more so. Some were stacked in feats that would have defied Earth’s gravity, and others peeped up from the ground, disappearing beneath the dirt. The streets wove between the strange structures and the material never seemed to stick to one substance. Color was everywhere.

For someone with enhanced senses, Knowhere was almost too much for Peter. Too many foreign colors, and sounds, and smells. After a while, he averted his gaze to the head in front of him. His brain was beginning to short-circuit.

Quill came to a stop in front of an almost decrepit looking building. The walls might have once been ruby red, but age and dust had discolored the material to a rusty brown. The door was several feet taller than Peter, and he figured it was probably for the Chewbacca sized aliens.

He wondered if there were any aliens that resembled Chewbacca. He’d have to ask Quill later.

Quill pushed his way through with the confidence of a man who had entered this establishment dozens of times before.

By the disgruntled yelling that followed, Peter thought that the owners of said establishment might also be a bit too familiar with the space rogue.

“Leesh! I’m here on business!”

Peter followed in after Gamora and Drax and was met with the sight of Quill being shoved back towards the door.

“I’m all too familiar with your kind of _business!_ ” The alien pushing him was a seven-foot tall humanoid creature. He had muddy skin that seemed to drip off of him and his body mass best resembled a clay sculpture that had been created by a toddler to look like a man.

Peter was in awe.

“Look, Leesh, I’m really only here to meet up with the rest of my crew. We’re trying to find this kid’s dad, here. You’re not gonna get in the way of reuniting a poor child with his sick, old man, are you?”

The alien, Leesh, looked down at Peter skeptically.

Peter tried his best to look like a lost child. He blinked up at Leesh, wetting his eyelashes.

Leesh shifted.

A fat tear rolled down Peter’s cheek and he let out an internal cheer when Leesh sighed.

“Fine, Quill. But no funny business or you’re outta here. An’ I mean that!”

Quill clapped his hands together, adopting a serious expression. “On Yondu’s stardust, I solemnly swear I will not cause trouble.”

Leesh grimaced and waved them off.

“Nice acting, kid.” Quill ruffled Peter’s hair.

“I was in the school play in eighth grade.”

“Who’d you play? Hamlet?”

“I was Pilgrim Number Two.”

The older man looked like he was trying to find something to respond with when Gamora shoved through them.

“Come on.”

Quill shrugged and followed.

Peter trailed them deeper into the building. It was dimly lit, and he couldn’t see the other aliens very well. Booths were set up around the room and Peter almost thought he was in a space restaurant when he saw the oddly shaped chips on each table. Then he heard the faint noises of both excitement and disgruntlement.

A casino, then. A space casino. Spacesino.

Then, from across the room Peter caught a very distinct New York accent exclaim, “There you are! I was beginning to think you losers died on your way here!”

He searched for the origin of the voice since it seemed to be directed at their small ragtag group and-

Was that a raccoon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I am taking this canon and I am mutating it. 
> 
> Because I can.
> 
> And none of you can stop me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first I'd like to preface this by saying I am not anti-cap. yes, I was team iron man and what you're gonna read here might seem like cap bashing but that's not what's going on. Thanos is manipulating tony and this is a form that it's taking. Tony's mind is being put through a strainer right now and it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
> 
> that said, don't be hard on tony pls. he is having a lil trouble seeing what's real and what's not.
> 
> I had a lot of problems with civil war but I do still love steve.
> 
> bear with me here

Tony’s breath left his mouth in a low hiss. His arm hurt, but it was nearly forgotten in the wave that was crashing against the inside of his skull.

Thanos kept speaking, either oblivious to the turmoil he was causing Tony or encouraging it. At this point in time, Tony wasn’t sure of anything.

The Titan’s words crested through his mind.

_“Draining you.”_

_“True enemies.”_

_“Use you.”_

Who was using him? Hadn’t he always given his money and his tech freely and willingly? Hadn’t he jumped at the opportunity to fund Earth’s greatest defenders?

Thanos was trying to confuse him and Tony was loath to admit that it was working. It was hard to remember Rogers and the rest of the rogues with fondness and it was even harder to think about them clearly when _Thanos would not stop talking._

He just needed a moment to clear his head. He needed to get some fresh air and then the thoughts in his brain would quiet back down to the white noise clamor he was used to.

His brain was always racing but he usually had a fairly decent grip on it.

Until that Sokovian girl had gotten her hands on it.

Now it was like someone was always watching his thoughts. As if even his own brain was not truly private. He always felt that he needed to censor the ideas in his mind lest someone with powers even greater than hers slithered their way into his head and read him for all that he truly was.

He knew they wouldn’t find much to redeem him.

His brain was dangerous, he knew this with a certainty like no other.

Perhaps the safest route – perhaps the only safe route would be to damage his mind so that no one could ever again gain access to the horrible, wonderful, terrifying things in his subconscious. All of his projects, all of his blueprints, wiped away.  

He could do it. He could keep Thanos away from all of it.

But Thanos didn’t want his technical ideas. He’d already admitted to that. And try as he might, Tony could not logically conceive of a reason why Thanos _would_ want anything in his brain. He had an army spread across spaceships hidden in the deepest parts of the universe. He already had nearly all of the Infinity Stones. The notion that Thanos valued anything Tony was knowledgeable in was laughable.

Perhaps he truly did want only the companionship.

In that, Tony could understand. In a dark, sick way that he’d never admit to anyone, he understood. The loneliness, the bone-crushing emptiness that surrounded you when there was no one left who really saw like you did. Actions speak louder than words, but what about intentions?

Tony had always had good intentions.

In that, how was he different than Thanos?

He too had destroyed cultures, families, and lives. He’d killed people he’d never seen before. He’d wiped away everything.

_So how am I different than Thanos?_

Panic rose in his chest and in a distant part of his mind he registered that Thanos had finally stopped talking. He was regarding Tony with an intense interest.

He’d tried to atone. He’d tried to remedy the countless hurts he’d scarred across the world.

A heavy hand laid across his shoulder snapped Tony out of his internal conflict.

Thanos didn’t say anything for a moment and it gave Tony an opportunity to study the alien. Despite his foreign appearance and frightening countenance, there was something very human in his eyes. Maybe it was Tony’s sadness reflected back to him. Maybe it was something deeper that Thanos had been trying to convey.

“You remind me so much of her.” His voice was quiet, only a soft rumble coming deep from his chest.

“Who?” Tony asked before he could stop himself.

Thanos didn’t respond.

For the first time since his arrival on the ship, Tony felt something akin to pity for the giant. Part of him revolted at the emotion, but the other half leaned into it, seeking something in response.

He didn’t want to empathize with Thanos. But with what else could a murderer empathize?

It suddenly seemed very clear to him that Thanos, for all his power, could not make anyone love him. Just like Tony. For all his strength and influence, he could not make anyone concede their trust to him. Just like Tony.

His followers held a reverence for him, a god-like worship, but no one dared sympathize.

The bizarre thought had Tony wondering if that was what really fueled the so-called Mad Titan.

So much hurt, and pain, and that awful loneliness, and not a soul in the universe who would comfort them.

“So you do see.” Thanos spoke again after watching Tony’s inner battle.

These thoughts were dangerous. These were the thoughts that uprooted an entire city in Sokovia.

Tony rallied himself as quickly as he could before gathering all of those little contemplations and shoving them deep into the dark recesses of his brain. Then he slammed an iron wall down between him and those thoughts.

The metal felt cold in his mind. Its iciness crept into his voice when he replied. “No. I don’t.”

Thanos’s eyes never left Tony’s.

“Could you maintain that composure even before them?”

Before he could question what Thanos meant, the room before him vanished. Suddenly, he was back in Siberia.

The bunker was just as cold as he remembered. His suit was a mangled pile of scraps at his feet. Steve stood in front of him, Barnes at his right.

Steve’s shield caught the refracted light from the snow and for a moment, Tony was blind.

When his eyes had adjusted, Steve was in his face.

“ _Sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things.”_

Then the shield rose.

The snow was so lovely. It was so cold.

Then it was red.

Tony fell back, his body was wracked with convulsions as he tried desperately to regain his breath. It had been too real. Rogers’s clean scent lingered in his nostrils. The black spots from the light still floated in his vision.

He wasn’t in Siberia any more. He was back in space, millions of lightyears away from that dead, empty place.

The thought was surprisingly comforting.

“Could you tell him everything if you were given the chance? If he stood before you now, could you see him as anything but the man who kept secrets from you? Who lied to you? Who _broke_ you?” Thanos knelt down to get as close to eye level as he could.

“ _Get out of my head.”_ Tony rasped. His fear had turned to a bright fury.

“Oh, Anthony. I’m not in your mind. You opened yourself up to me. This is you projecting these scenes.”

But that was impossible. He didn’t control the stones. It had to be Thanos.

But Thanos didn’t have the mind stone. That one was still safely nestled in Vision’s forehead. So how could Thanos see his memories?

“Do you understand how powerful you could be if you gave in? They’re responding to _you._ To your _pain._ ”

Tony spared a fleeting glance to the rocks that pulsed in Thanos’s gauntlet. Red, the reality stone, caught his eye.

It vibrated on a wavelength that seemed to connect straight to Tony’s mind. The crimson glow burned even brighter. It was as if it was preening under Tony’s gaze.

“They are listening to you. Waiting for you to ask them for anything you desire.”

“I don’t want anything from them.” Dammit, he was still shaking. The tremors found their way into his voice.

“Nothing? Not even a chance for revenge?” Thanos’s voice lowered to a purr.

Red pulsed brighter.

Tony didn’t know how, but he was certain that the stones were alive. They were whispering something. He leaned forward, trying to catch a word. He wanted to know what they were trying to say.

“ _Is this real?”_

A husky voice caressed his mind. It was soft, calming the angry breakers still bashing the inside of his head. “ _Do you want this to be real?”_

_“No. God, no.”_

_“Then what_ do _you want?”_

_“I want- I don’t…”_

_“You are confused. Can we help you to understand?”_

Suddenly Steve was back. They weren’t in Siberia; instead Rogers stood in the middle of the room on the ship. He looked so real. Clean-shaven, his eyes that damnable ocean blue. Even his posture was as awkwardly stiff as Tony remembered it to be when they’d first met.

“Tony?”

Oh God, not his voice. His voice was too real. It was too familiar.

“Rogers.” Tony managed to rasp out the two syllables, praying for the illusion to disappear.

“Tony, what’s going on?”

“You’re not real.”

“What do you mean? Tony, I’ve always been real.”

A surge of angry confidence shot through Tony’s body at the words. “Why did you do it?”

The furrow that appeared between Rogers’s brows was an impeccable imitation.

“You lied.” He hated that his voice cracked. “Why did you lie?”

“I lied? I lied. You weren’t supposed to know.”

“How could you?”

“He’s my friend.”

“Then what am I?” Tony was screaming now, he couldn’t help it.

“You?” It seemed the doppelganger had to repeat every question back at Tony. “You were a means to an end.”

Rogers vanished and Tony collapsed hard back onto his hands.

“Are we done here?”

Thanos regarded him, sympathy surprisingly strong in his clear eyes.

_“Do you understand?”_ The voices purred in his mind again. “ _Are you confused?”_

Tony wasn’t certain if it was still the stones speaking to him or just his bruised conscience.

“Can’t you silence them?” He was tired. He wanted to go back to his cell, or the workshop. Anywhere but here. “Can’t you get them out of my head?”

“You already know how to do that.”

Yes, Tony knew. But he couldn’t give that part of him up just yet. He felt as if he was holding onto a fraying rope. The cords were slowly snapping, and with each break he slipped further down into a black pit. He wasn’t entirely sure what awaited him if he just let go, but he didn’t want to find out.

Or didn’t he?

Wouldn’t it just be easier?

He was so weary, after all.

He’d been fighting for _so long._ Would it really be so bad if he just stopped fighting, just for a little while.

He didn’t want to see Rogers again. He didn’t want to see Obie, or Howard, or the rest of the Avengers. He didn’t want to see himself. Not as he is now. Not as he was, either.

If he just let go, could he perhaps see himself as he was to become?

Maybe that version of Tony wouldn’t hurt people.

But deep inside Tony, he knew that there would never be a version of himself that didn’t hurt others. It was too ingrained in what he is. He would have to alter his very being, somehow.

He’d have to change himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Now Peter knew he was probably fangirling really hard at the moment, but he couldn’t help it. _That was Thor right there._ As in Thor, god of thunder. As in Thor, the strongest Avenger. As in Thor, an actual alien.

Oh, Ned was gonna pee himself when Peter told him about this.

Thor was leaning back in the booth, arms crossed, his eyes scrutinizing the people surrounding him.

Peter thought one of his eyes looked kinda funny but brushed it off.

He was trying to figure out a good way to ask how Thor managed to fly with a hammer that supposedly weighed so much, only he could pick it up when the raccoon leaned forward, cutting off his view.

“Alright kiddos, so we have a brand-spankin’ new Thanos killing axe thing, now what do we do? Also, who’s the kid? And the tall guy?”

Doctor Strange looked as if he was slowly realizing just where that hairball in his bed had come from.

“I’m Spider-Man!” Peter chirped, happy to finally introduce himself with his superhero name.

“Spider-Man.” The raccoon deadpanned. “Is that your real name?”

“Well, uh, no.”

“Well thank the stars for that! What kinda mother would name her own kid after such a dumb bug?!”

“Arachnid.” Peter grumbled.

“His name’s Peter too. Now, let’s move on, shall we?” Quill interjected quickly before things could escalate. Peter could have sworn he saw Strange sigh in relief.

Peter guessed explaining his name would be even weirder.

“Thanos is going to go after Earth next. It is where the final Infinity Stone lies. I would have expected him to be there already, but he is delayed somehow.” Thor finally spoke up and Peter tried not to vibrate at the sound of his voice. Very thunder-y.

“I believe I can explain that.” Doctor Strange said quietly. “I’ve seen every possibility this war could take. Thanos has Stark which complicates things. I wasn’t able to delve too deeply into those futures but what I saw was not good.”

“Stark?” Thor perked up. “Tony?”

Strange nodded.

“You mean the Mad Titan has one of the Avengers?” Thor’s face was rapidly darkening, like a thundercloud.

“That’s why we need you!” Peter butted in before he could be outspoken by Quill again. “If you bring Asgard, we can beat Thanos!”

The anger washed away from the god’s face as quickly as it had appeared. “I’m afraid it’s more complex than that.”

Peter felt his heart sinking. Despite the sinking feeling in his gut, he asked, “What do you mean?”

“Thanos has already killed half of my people. He’s murdered the strongest warrior I’ve ever known. And this is all after my people just barely survived my sister decimating the population. Those who remain, I can ask, but I do not know if they’d answer.”

“Your sist-?” Peter shook his head. “I don’t know what all you suffered, but this could be even bigger than that. I don’t want to seem like I’m being insensitive, but it looks like Thanos has his sights set higher than just this galaxy. Half the universe is gonna be wiped out if we don’t stop him. That means half of what’s left of your people too.

“We’re not asking them to fight. We’re asking them to defend. We’re not on the offensive here. Not anymore. We have to preserve what’s left. This affects all of us. If they can’t answer to _that_ call, then maybe they don’t need to call themselves warriors.”

The group was silent.

Peter thought he had maybe gone a bit overboard in his impassioned speech, but he had gotten a bit carried away. He didn’t want to think about what Mr. Stark was suffering as he loitered around in a space casino.

Thor was gaping at him as was the rest of the group.

“Sorry, who are you again?” Thor squinted at him as if he couldn’t place Peter’s face.

“Oh yeah, I’m Spider-Man. I’m kind of like, the newest Avenger? I guess? Mr. Stark kinda knighted me back on the donut ship.”

Thor stared at him blankly.

“It’s a long story.”

“Look, what I assume the kid is trying to say here is that your people won’t have much of anywhere to run off to if that’s what they’re trying to do.” Quill jumped to Peter’s defense.

Thor bristled. “Asgardians never run from a fight. But as their king, I have already asked far too much of them. If they are to fight, it will be of their own choosing.”

“I suppose that’s all we can ask for.” Doctor Strange sighed, folding his fingers neatly on top of his lap. “How could we get into contact with them?”

Thor glared at Quill for a few more seconds before responding. “We left those who were more capable than the people on my ship with another vessel. They were to scout for a new home for all of us. Only myself and a few others remained behind to see to the sick and wounded. We thought if either of the ships were to be attacked, it would be theirs. They were exploring new territories. We followed at a slower pace. Then, Thanos attacked.

“I do not know where the other ship is or if they’re even still alive. All I can give you is the radio frequency on which we might contact them. They never responded to our distress signals. I do not know what has happened to them.”

Peter suddenly felt a bit bad for practically scolding the god of thunder on his people’s potential cowardice. Everything about this situation was new territory. No one really knew how to proceed. Not even the adults.

“We’ll send out a message through our ship. Maybe they were on their way to help you like we were and came across the same wreckage. It could be that they were just too slow.” Gamora laid a hand across Thor’s bicep and Peter saw Quill’s eyebrow twitch.

Thor nodded his accession.

“Come on, we should head back. We’ve wasted enough time in this place. We should start by gathering as many people as we can. Send out a call on every frequency we can. We already know he’s decimated Xandar. But maybe there’s another colony who might be sympathetic to our cause or smart enough to realize that this affects everyone.”

Peter stood quickly as everyone rose with Gamora’s words. She really did seem to be the most capable of the ragtag group.

“God, it’s gonna be cramped.” Quill muttered under his breath.

Peter took a moment to look over everyone gathered before him. It might be a tight fit, but for the first time since reaching space, he felt as if they might actually have a plan. A real plan, with real actions to take.

The thought alone was heady enough to make the air around him feel that much fresher.

If they could just hold out in this intergalactic war, that might just be enough to turn the tides in their favor. Thanos was strong but he had underestimated them before.

If they were lucky, he’d do it again.

_Just hold on a little while longer, Mr. Stark. We’re coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who needs canon
> 
>  
> 
> also I am gonna shamelessly self-promote another fic I'm working on. It's got logan from the x-men running around middle-earth. that's my whole description but you can find it on my profile. the next chapter is gonna come out real soon I promise


	7. Ch. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little filler chapter 
> 
> idk what I was doing with this one and i'm not sure i'm satisfied with it but oh well

His mind was lucid enough that Tony recognized he was dreaming. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here, and his brain was having trouble noticing the little details. However, even if his logic was telling him that nothing was real, his heart hadn’t quite picked up on that memo.

Snowflakes were dusting his shoulders and melting into his flight suit. They were startlingly cold for a dream.

He tried to squint into the horizon, but the storm was too thick and the snow fell too rapidly.

His heart beat began to speed up. He was panicking. This was too much like Siberia.

Tony was beginning to feel as if his mind was conspiring to kill him. It wouldn’t be the first time. But the betrayal stung a bit all the same.

Gripping his upper arms in an attempt to keep some of the warmth inside his body, Tony began trekking forward. He didn’t like sitting still and movement always helped him process events better.

If he could just keep putting one foot in front of the other, ultimately, he’d make it somewhere.

The snow fell harder and piled at his feet, slowing his steps. Eventually, it was higher than his kneecaps and each stride was like wading through molasses. His breath was short and sharp, his lungs were screaming with the exertion. Tony’s body wasn’t built for this kind of endurance anymore.

Slowly, the snow started to warm up. That probably wasn’t a good sign. Did this mean he was getting frostbite in his legs? It no longer felt cold at all. In fact, the snow was starting to feel downright hot. His legs slid more easily through it. One foot in front of the other.

Tony looked down and almost wailed in horror. He was no longer in the snow, he was no longer in Siberia.

It was sand below his feet.

Blood red sand painted with the life source of everyone killed in the Middle East because of his weapons. It congealed and bubbled, and Tony realized with horror that he was no longer wearing his shoes or flight suit.

The sand moved beneath his toes in a way that made Tony want to vomit.

His shoulders shook with the effort of remaining upright.

The wind kicked some of the grains up until Tony’s vision was blinded by red. It stung and scratched his eyes. Then it was in his throat. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see. Soon enough, he couldn’t even move. It was as if it was burying him alive. It _was_ burying him alive. The idea dawned on him with sudden clarity and Tony thrashed wildly. He couldn’t die here. The souls were trapped beneath the surface of the sand, dragging him down.

 _Atone._ Voices crooned in his ears. _Atone, sinner._

His arm started to burn.

Tony’s vision cleared just enough that he could see his right arm glowed a golden yellow. The burn increased until Tony was screaming. He watched with terror as his arm began to wither and crumble away. The glow crept up his bicep towards his shoulder and then to his heart. Everywhere the light touched, his skin disintegrated away until muscle, tendons, and bone disappeared before his eyes. Then he was fading.

 

 

Tony woke up alone, throat hoarse and eyes red rimmed.

He was back in the ship’s workshop. The familiar tools helped calm Tony’s erratic heartbeat but when his eyes passed over the golden arm, a vicious wave of nausea had him doubling over and heaving up bile.

The fingers on his flesh hand trembled when he could finally sit up again. The metal appendage remained steady. He hated it. He _hated it._

But he didn’t know what to do about it.

For the first time in his life, Tony Stark had run out of ideas.

He’d never fought a rival quite like Thanos. He’d never faced a villain as strong, or as powerful, or even as heartlessly intelligent.

_You’ve never gone against an opponent that’s just like you._

Tony shook the thought away.

Since his encounter with the reality stone, Tony was having trouble sifting his own feelings from the residual glimpses offered by the stone.

This destructive path his mind was trying to set him down had to be a remnant of connecting his brain with that rock.

_But is that true?_

Of course it was. When had his mind ever tried to set him down a painful, destructive path before?

Tony scoffed.

He needed to speak with Nebula. He had to fill her in on everything that had happened. His meeting with Thanos had happened yesterday, but he wasn’t sure how he’d gotten back to the workshop.

Or had it happened yesterday?

What time was it now?

Tony realized he wasn’t sure how many days had passed since he’d been taken captive by Thanos, and he had even less of an idea of how many hours he’d slept through each time he passed out.

It felt like he’d been here for months.

Tony hurried out of the workshop, hoping that perhaps Nebula might have an internal clock set in with all of her “upgrades”.

He followed the path he’d memorized the first time he’d left the workshop to deliver the ear comms to her. It wasn’t a long journey, but Tony walked slowly, careful to not bump into any of Thanos’s horrifying children.

Finally, the cerulean bars of Nebula’s prison came into view and Tony hurried towards them.

She was pacing up and down her cell, looking all the world like a blue panther readying itself to pounce.

She halted at the sight of him and her lips curled in a grimace.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.”

Nebula watched him carefully. “Are you…”

“He hasn’t put me under some kind of spell yet, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Her pause before answering unsettled him. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“What do you mean?” Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Sometimes, you’ll never realize he’s broken you until you’re doing things you never thought you would just to keep the pain from taking over, to keep the voices from driving you insane.” Nebula backed up to the wall and slid down. Her arms hung limp at her sides, but she watched him warily. She appeared to have her guard down, but Tony recognized the look. He’d seen it in Natasha’s eyes many times. She was assessing him for a threat level. “Sometimes, he’ll even have you believing that what you’re doing is okay. Good, even. He makes you think you’re helping someone and that the evil will be punished. But in reality, he’s turned you into the very evil you were trying to escape.”

“You speak from experience.”

Nebula let out a raspy laugh. It echoed strangely around her synthetic vocal chords. “I did a lot of bad for him. And I tried so hard, too. Didn’t even bat an eye.”

Tony crouched down to be at eye level with her. “What are the voices? What do they sound like?”

Nebula paused. “They sound just like you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe Peter had been a little overeager when he practically begged Thor to come with them.

Quill had been right. The ship was not a big space and it was filled to the brim with very big people.

He couldn’t even go to the space shower without bumping elbows with at least three aliens on the way.

And as cool as Groot had seemed when Peter had first met him, he was beginning to wonder why an angsty teenage tree was even on this voyage in the first place. It was obvious Groot didn’t want to be there. It was even more obvious he resented Peter’s presence in his rooms even more.

But Peter had gone to summer camp before. He’d shared an enclosed space with seven other sixth grade boys. If he could survive that smell, those sounds, and the pranks that came out of that trip, he could suck it up and stay as optimistic as he could on a spaceship.

Besides, this enclosed space was infinitely cooler than a cedar cabin in Dobbs Ferry.

Not to mention, star gazing was a whole new monster.

If he ever got tired of the whole superhero schtick, Peter thought he might like to become an astronomer.

Thor was surprisingly vocal in teaching Peter different constellations and pointing out far off galaxies. When he asked the god if he’d ever been to any of those specks in the distance, Thor just smiled and regaled him with awesome tales of battles and shenanigans.

He spoke fondly of his friends, calling them the Warriors Three.

In turn, Peter caught him up on everything that had happened on earth since Thor’s departure after Ultron.

The god’s eyes crinkled sadly when Peter explained the Civil War, how the Avengers had split, leaving Captain America and his followers on the run from the law, and leaving Mr. Stark a sad shell of a man, filling his days with trying to make other people happier than he ever could be.

“My friends…” Thor’s face fell. “I should have been there to help broker peace. My attention was so distracted by problems of my own realm, I did not consider the issues you might be facing in Midgard.”

“Truthfully, I don’t think there’s anything you could have done.” Peter placed his hand on Thor’s shoulder.

When Thor looked down at him quizzically, Peter sighed. “Mr. Stark’s parents were killed by Captain America’s friend. The Captain knew but he didn’t tell Mr. Stark until after they’d both seen the footage. Mr. Stark was heartbroken. I don’t think any kind of godly intervention could have lessened that kind of hurt.”

Thor gave him a soft smile. “You are wise beyond your years, boy of spiders.”

“Man.” Peter grumbled in reply, but his heart was proud at the compliment.

“Still, this does not bode well for Tony. If his mind is already in turmoil, it would offer Thanos the opportunity to manipulate him.”

Peter felt his stomach drop. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Tony is strong, but he is still human. I dread to think what might happen to him the longer he remains on that murderer’s ship.”

“But he- he’s Iron Man. He can resist Thanos. Mr. Stark is the smartest man on the planet. He’s probably building his own escape pod as we speak.” Peter tried to make his voice sound confident.

“I dearly hope you are correct, young one. But we must be prepared to face a man who is not like the one we have come to love and respect. Peter, you must be prepared to face someone who might not recognize you, who might try to hurt you.”

Peter swallowed hard. “Mr. Stark wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You are very sure.” Thor’s eyes were full of sympathy, but Peter could tell he didn’t really believe him.

“It would hurt Mr. Stark to hurt anyone he cared about.”

“And what if he believes he’s helping them. What if he doesn’t realize he could hurt them. It has happened before with Ultron.”

Peter shot up, anger coiling low in his gut. He had thought Thor was better than this. “Mr. Stark was manipulated into that by the Scarlet Witch. And Dr. Banner also helped make Ultron. Once he realized what he’d done, Mr. Stark did everything in his power to make things right. Everyone always blames Mr. Stark for any damage caused by superheroes, but what about New Mexico? Or Greenwich?”

Peter regretted the words as soon as they rolled off his tongue as he saw Thor flinch back in shame. But perhaps it was time someone said these things.

“No one blames Dr. Banner for the damage caused by the Hulk. And every time a city is destroyed because Captain America was fighting for justice, people conveniently forget to care. But if Mr. Stark steps one foot across the line, he’s torn apart, when he’s done more to repair the damages than any of the rest of you.

“No one blamed the Black Widow when the info dump caused dozens of undercover agents for SHIELD to lose their lives. Or did you guys even spare a second to think about them?

“I’ve read up on all of you. You’ve been my heroes since I was a kid and you’re all the reason I want to do something great with this power I’ve been given. You’ve all saved so many lives. So has Mr. Stark. But don’t pretend he’s the vulnerable one just because he lets you all slide the blame onto him.”

He sat back down, breathing heavily.

Thor had stared at him in shock throughout the entire speech, either rendered mute by Peter’s words or unable to counter any of his points.

“Mr. Stark won’t hurt me. Whatever happens, he won’t do anything to put me in danger.”

Thor’s mouth closed silently from where it had been hanging open.

Then, “I pray you are correct, Peter. I sincerely do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww peter your idolatry is showing :') 
> 
> jk but seriously peter is v protective of his mentor and he's ready to fight a god so put em up

**Author's Note:**

> an updating schedule lol what's that


End file.
